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Britni TheVadgeWig
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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Get Yourself Off
Good Vibes 
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Author Archives: Britni TheVadgeWig
In case you ever wondered what kind of a housekeeper I am…
…this checklist Jesus left for me on the fridge before he went out of town should give you some indication. Susie Homemaker I am not.
Just What I Needed
I spent the week in my apartment, in my bed, curled up in a ball. I did absolutely nothing, aside from go to doctor’s appointments and the hospital. I held onto Jesus almost every minute of the day that I wasn’t asleep. I needed it, obviously. I was super sick from all the medication for [...]
Posted in Awesomeness, Foto, I Want To Go To There, Rape Culture, Relationships, Wardrobe Malfunction Tagged Jesus 4 Comments
I’m all about the foreplay. Main event? What main event?
Jesus and I don’t actually have a ton of PIV sex. I mean, of course we HAVE it, but for us it serves more as an “intimacy” thing than a “pleasure” thing. You see, he gets off easily and enjoyably via a blow job or titty fucking (I hate that term. Can we come up [...]
My Friends Are Better Than Yours
Did YOU get a picture this adorably awesome tweeted at you? Didn’t think so. Thank you, @SingingStrumpet! You rock my world.
Necessity
In a complete stroke of luck, Jesus happened to be staying in a town on the night I was assaulted. In an even larger stroke of luck, his phone was turned on. He immediately hitched a ride to a bus station and headed back into the city. He made it back only 6 hours after [...]
An Update
Those of you that follow me on Twitter are already aware of the events of Monday night. For those of you that are not aware, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I was raped on Monday night. I refuse to get into the details, because they’re not important. Rehashing them won’t change what [...]
Don’t Call It A Comeback
My job is exhausting. I spend all day tending to the needs of others. And those people are in early recovery from drug addiction, so they’re feeling all this stuff they have been numbing for so long. And that’s uncomfortable for them. And so everything becomes a crisis. They want want want and need need [...]
Posted in Griping and Kvetching and Bitching 5 Comments
Girlfriend of the Year
Upon learning that Alex Rodriguez has multiple paintings of himself as a centaur in his home, Jesus decided that he, too, needed one. As a gift to him for various things including getting off heroin and generally being awesome, I commissioned a painting from a good friend of ours. Behold: You’ll have to trust me [...]
Mercy
I want to get these. They are the perfect way to end an argument, if you ask me. Simple, to the point, and cute as hell.
Posted in Awesomeness, I Am A Material Girl, Relationships 2 Comments
Breaking the Silence