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Britni TheVadgeWig
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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Get Yourself Off
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Category Archives: Sexcapades
Necessity
In a complete stroke of luck, Jesus happened to be staying in a town on the night I was assaulted. In an even larger stroke of luck, his phone was turned on. He immediately hitched a ride to a bus station and headed back into the city. He made it back only 6 hours after [...]
Awakening
The other morning, I woke up feeling the slight tingle of desire in my loins and ran with it before it disappeared again. I woke up Jesus, who says that his sleepy brain said, “What’s going on? Is she waking me up… for sexual purposes? OH MY GOD. RUN WITH IT, MAN! GO! GO!” And [...]
Introductions
I introduced Jesus to the Njoy Pure Wand last night. They were fast friends. The squirting was epic. Everyone was happy. The end.
Banshee
The other morning, I was feeling sleepy and lazy, so I called in late to work, cuddled up with Jesus, and went back to sleep. A couple of hours later, I was feeling frisky, which was a nice surprise considering that my sex drive has been MIA as of late. I woke up Jesus and [...]
My Own Hands
The other night, Jesus and I had a bit of a tiff. After it was over, I immediately wanted to fuck. But he stopped me and said, “I’m sorry, but we were just fighting for 4 hours. That doesn’t exactly put me in the mood for sex.” I was flabbergasted. I was all, “But… but… [...]
Also posted in Griping and Kvetching and Bitching, Relationships, Sex Miscellany Tagged Jesus 1 Comment
Geyser
I used to think that I could only squirt with proper g-spot stimulation. Once I became used to squirting and knew what kind of stimulation caused it, I got really good at it. I could do it with less g-spot stimulation than I’d required before. I knew which pelvic muscles to flex to make it [...]
Wardrobe Malfunction: Punctuation and Feathers
One thing I really appreciate about my job is that they allow me to maintain and express my individuality. I’m allowed to have visible tattoos and piercings, dye my hair, and wear whatever I want as long as it’s within dress code. This means nothing too revealing, no jeans except for Fridays, and no flip [...]
Also posted in Diarrhea of the Mind, I Am A Material Girl, Parental Control, Wardrobe Malfunction Tagged Jesus, Threesome Girl 5 Comments
How to Guarantee That I Will Never Sleep With You Again
In regards to my squirting: “It was pretty hot and it definitely turned me on, but it was really messy. Could you maybe not do it so much next time?” FAIL. There will now definitely be no “next time.” And people wonder why I was so insecure about it for so long. But! It gets [...]
Also posted in Griping and Kvetching and Bitching, Sex Miscellany 20 Comments
I’m all about the foreplay. Main event? What main event?