Category Archives: Soul Searching


In a complete stroke of luck, Jesus happened to be staying in a town on the night I was assaulted. In an even larger stroke of luck, his phone was turned on. He immediately hitched a ride to a bus station and headed back into the city. He made it back only 6 hours after [...]
Also posted in Rape Culture, Sexcapades | Tagged | 3 Comments


Jesus has been amazing in maintaining his sobriety from heroin. He’s done a better job than I ever expected him to do. After I gave him the ultimatum at the end of November that he stops using or he loses me, his heroin addiction has been a non-existent worry. He got a Suboxone prescription and [...]
Also posted in Relationships, Self Medication | Tagged | 5 Comments


I’ve gained a healthy 20 pounds since moving to Boston 7 months ago, putting me at around 120 pounds. It’s the most I’ve ever weighed, though I know I’m still very thin. And generally, I like the weight on myself. I feel like I look better and healthier and fuller. And I tend to prefer [...]
Also posted in Standards of Beauty | 8 Comments

Holy Matrimony, My Ass

I’ve always said that I didn’t think I ever wanted to get married. I said that I didn’t like what traditional marriage represented. I didn’t like the patriarchal aspects of it. I didn’t really believe that humans were meant to mate for life. I didn’t want to get married until I’d be able to legally [...]
Also posted in Relationships | Tagged | 12 Comments

Like No One Is Watching

I wish I could be the kind of girl that was unafraid to dance like there was no one watching in a room full of people. I envy those people.
Posted in Soul Searching | 6 Comments

Truer Words

Image from Google Image search. No credit found.
Posted in Soul Searching | Leave a comment

Out of My System

I saw The Bruiser when I was home a few weeks ago. And to be honest, I was really scared to see him. He’s always been my Exception, regardless of who I was dating. It didn’t matter how much I liked the person I was with, I could never say no when the opportunity to [...]
Also posted in Relationships | Tagged , | 12 Comments

Day 10: Someone You Don’t Talk To As Much As You’d Like

I sucked for a while and let my 30 Days of Letters fall by the wayside. I’m going to try and start writing them again. Dear Dad, I wish we talked more, and not just in the literal sense. Because while it’s true that we don’t talk very often, and when I live away from [...]
Also posted in 30 Days of Letters, Parental Control | Leave a comment


The other day, I asked my clients to write down what it means to them to be strong. Then, if they chose, they could share what they had written with the group. I was blown away by the insight and intelligence of these women, and how many of them dug beyond the standard or expected [...]
Also posted in Psychobabble, Relationships | 2 Comments


Right now, we’re in this never-ending cycle of suck. I’ve put my foot down regarding being in his presence when he’s under the influence of an opiate. And I’ve stuck to that, too. However, inevitably, I’ll show up somewhere to meet him, or he’ll pick me up from work, and I’ll take one look at [...]
Also posted in Relationships, Self Medication | Tagged | 7 Comments
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  • Britni TheVadgeWig

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