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Britni TheVadgeWig
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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Get Yourself Off
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Category Archives: Wanking
Clitoral Simulation
Whenever I’m with a new partner, I can almost guarantee that the same thing will happen when we first start hooking up. They will hone in on my clit and fiddle with it, and it will do absolutely nothing for me. However, I can easily get off from just clitoral stimulation; in fact, I do [...]
A Break From Routine
We’ve already established that I am The World’s Most Boring Masturbater™. However, the other day, something came over me, and for one afternoon, I ceased to be The World’s Most Boring Masturbater™. I decided to use more than just my Wahl! Of course, the Wahl was still a part of the masturbation sesh, because it’s [...]
The World’s Most Boring Masturbater
Yes, it’s true. I am The World’s Most Boring Masturbater™. All those images that you may have conjured up in your head of me hotly and sexily masturbating that are filed away in your spank bank? I hate to inform you that they are inaccurate. Some people have exciting masturbation sessions that last for hours [...]
A Few of My Favorite Things
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens… yeah, notsomuch. I’m talking about my favorite sex toys, obvi. As my collection is perpetually growing and changing, I thought it would be a good idea to do a list of my favorite products. Granted, these change with the wind and I have days where I swear I’ll [...]
Also posted in Population Control and Orgasmic Artillery, Wahl-ee 6 Comments
OMIGOD YOU GUISE
Omigod, omigod you guys. If you don’t own a Wahl, you need to. Seriously. You can find them on Amazon for $12. I got mine from Blowfish for $18, though it looks like it’s $27 there now. IT’S AFFORDABLE. BUY ONE. I’m not even linking to a site I’m an affiliate for so you know [...]
Also posted in Population Control and Orgasmic Artillery, Wahl-ee 10 Comments
Product Review: Wahl 2-Speed Massager Kit
So maybe she’s not the prettiest girl at the party. And maybe it’s not the most advanced toy on the shelf. But none of that matters, because the Wahl is fucking amazing. Seriously. Just buy it. You won’t be sorry, and you’ll definitely be thanking me. I could pretty much end the review here, as [...]
Also posted in Population Control and Orgasmic Artillery, Product Reviews, Vibrator, Wahl-ee Tagged Babeland, Epiphora 22 Comments
Hi, My Name Is Britni, And I Come Buckets
After yesterday’s bruhaha, I started thinking. No, I don’t think I overreacted to the post in question at all. But I definitely had a very strong reaction to it, and there’s a reason for that. I’ve been meaning to write about my relationship with, and evolution of, squirting for some time, and I think that [...]
Going The Distance
Last night I squirted farther than I think I ever have in my entire life. I’m always a gusher with proper g-spot stimulation, and have squirted on occasion, but never this far or this much. What you can’t see is the puddle under my ass and between myself and the computer. What this picture can [...]
I Saw Myself Reflected
I watched her in the mirror across the room as she laid in her bed. The reflection was of a girl with disheveled hair and flushed cheeks. She was completely naked, cunt shaved bare and tiny nipples hard as rocks and pointing to the ceiling. There was a towel beneath her. Her legs were open, [...]
Also posted in With A Little Help From My Friends 9 Comments
Ain’t No Shame