Ain’t No Shame

Taylor Momsen seems like a pretty awesome chick. She’s only 16, but seems to know who she is and who she wants to be and doesn’t seem to give a fuck what anyone thinks of her. She rejects the Disney-esque path of innocence and purity that many female teen stars take, and stays true to herself. She also has a big mouth and isn’t afraid to say what she’s thinking. Sometimes, this leads to awesome quotes from her. From a recent piece in Disorder magazine:

“She also grins when asked if she’s single, and replies that she is, that she’s not into guys, waits a beat, then adds she’s not gay but just bored of men and her best friend is her vibrator.”

Rock on, girl. Not only that, when the despicable person that is Perez Hilton put up a post entitled “16 Year Old Taylor Momsen Can’t Live Without Her Dildo!!,” Taylor proved that she knows the difference between a vibrator and a dildo, and that he should, too.

Perez isn’t the only one making a big deal about a teenager talking about masturbation and sex toys. Several other posts have gone up calling her “outrageous,” “overly sexual,” “shocking,” “out of control,” “wrong,” “inappropriate” and “gross.” And to all those people, I have this to say: STFU. How is it that OPRAH understands this better than the mainstream media seems to? I’m not usually a huge Oprah fan, especially when it comes to covering topics that are outside the “norm.” I get that she’s pandering to mainstream America, and that she needs to be relatable and all that. But I often find her reactions to be judgmental and over the top. She influences A LOT of people, and when she’s judgy or disapproving, many other people will be as well. However, I stumbled across this episode in which she said that all moms should buy their teen girls vibrators.

And for that, I have to give her a round of applause. These bloggers could stand to learn a thing or two from Oprah when it comes to this. However, it comes down to the fact that female teenage sexuality is still seen as a threatening and scary thing. I mean, we can talk about and joke about teen boys and the fact that they jerk off all the time, but we can’t discuss teenage girls masturbating? Newsflash: there’s nothing wrong with masturbation, and our teen years are the time when we begin to explore our own sexuality. Doing so in a healthy way, with the use of a sex toy, is completely acceptable and awesome.
There’s no shame in masturbating. We don’t shame guys for it, so why must be continue to shame girls for it?
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  1. GhouldilocksNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 12:12 pm | Permalink

    Taylor Momsen irritates the hell out of me, but this is pretty fucking cool.

  2. alanaNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 1:25 pm | Permalink

    I agree with what you’re saying and said something similar a few days ago. I do think we have to be careful not to be too overly judgemental of girls who do decide to take “the Disney-esque path of innocence and purity” though. Both expressions of sexuality are perfectly valid (as long as they are genuine and not forced by outside parties). I feel like sometimes we, feminist bloggers and such, can be too quick to criticize people like Taylor Swift because we’re thinking too much about the patriarchy. By doing so we end up implying that there’s only one correct way for girls to express their sexuality (not to mention erasing the experiences and choices of the individual we’re criticizing). I remember talking about this issue when we read The Purity Myth but it has been on my mind lately.

    • Britni TheVadgeWigNo Gravatar
      Posted July 24, 2010 at 5:49 pm | Permalink

      I’m not saying that the girls that take the “Disney-esque” path are wrong or bad or whatever, just that that’s the “expected” path for young girls to take, and Taylor has eschewed that in favor of doing her own thing, which has caused her to take a lot of slack.

      • alanaNo Gravatar
        Posted July 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm | Permalink

        I never said you said that. I was just making a generic point.

  3. SolangelNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 1:52 pm | Permalink

    I don’t really care for Taylor Momsen but her tweet is awesome.
    I’m glad someone is explaining to moms that their daughters are sexual beings . It makes me sad that me and my mom don’t have that kind of relationship. I still can’t talk to her about sex and I’m 24.

  4. ElodieNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    “We don’t shame guys for it, so why must be continue to shame girls for it?”

    Because women’s sexuality exists for male pleasure.

    I see this in sex toy reviews all the time: the reviewer talking about how “hubby” used the toy on her, and how much he enjoyed it, and never a peep about the woman using it by herself.

  5. JanieNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 3:33 pm | Permalink

    Too true!


  6. Nell GwynneNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 8:01 pm | Permalink

    I still think Taylor is a bit of an asshat (some of her comments regarding the disaster in Haiti really pissed me off), but this comment does make me dislike her less. And I just *love* how Perez likes to determine sexuality on his own terms.

  7. anonymousNo Gravatar
    Posted July 25, 2010 at 1:31 pm | Permalink

    “We don’t shame guys for it, so why must we continue to shame girls for it?”

    Au contraire! I’ve never posted to your site before, but felt I had to after seeing this.

    While I also read about how Taylor Momsen was “shocking” and “disgusting”, I had to agree with most of your points about supporting her decision to not give a shit, and having the guts to admit something freely that many people would never admit to at that age, especially when they live in the public eye. But the flipside is wondering if that’s her m.o. or if it’s more than that, and she’s purely saying shocking/titillating stuff she knows will make press just to stay relevant and in the news, so she can land some sexy role in an upcoming movie. Not my diagnosis, but just thought it’s a valid question.

    In response to the statement I quoted from you, I have to disagree. Maybe at our age, joking about male masturbation is the norm. But I would argue that at 16 and younger, male masturbation, at least in my school, was taboo. It was one of those things that every guy did, but didn’t admit. And god forbid you did admit it or get caught, it was a free pass to get ridiculed viciously. For instance, when I was in junior high, a kid got caught by someone masturbating in the boys bathroom stall. Even though every boy was doing it at that age, that didn’t stop them from bullying this kid and bringing it up every chance they got to humiliate him. It was both hypocritical and cruel. And I felt truly sorry for him. We all can agree female masturbation, whether during teenage sexual exploration years, or full grown adult women years, is still pretty taboo in society, at least compared to how male masturbation is viewed. It’s come a long way though, which we get reminded of every time an actress admits to sex toy use in a interview, or when you now find vibrators for sale at CVS or Walgreens. But I just thought I’d clarify from experience that male masturbation in those teenage exploration years is maybe not as accepted amongst peers as you may think.

    Love your blog,

One Trackback

  1. By Interesting posts, weekend of 7/25/10 « Feminists with Female Sexual Dysfunction on July 25, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    [...] Ain’t No Shame – Media including Perez Hilton are jumping allover teenage actress Taylor Momsen for openly talking about masturbation. Whereas when American Pie came out all those years ago no one batted an eye at the prospect of young men masturbating. [...]

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