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Britni TheVadgeWig
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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Get Yourself Off
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Tag Archives: Jesus
An Update
Those of you that follow me on Twitter are already aware of the events of Monday night. For those of you that are not aware, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I was raped on Monday night. I refuse to get into the details, because they’re not important. Rehashing them won’t change what [...]
Girlfriend of the Year
Upon learning that Alex Rodriguez has multiple paintings of himself as a centaur in his home, Jesus decided that he, too, needed one. As a gift to him for various things including getting off heroin and generally being awesome, I commissioned a painting from a good friend of ours. Behold: You’ll have to trust me [...]
Resentment
In the few days since Jesus and I have started actively having sex again, our relationship has already become more intimate. We’re more affectionate, we cuddle more, we kiss more. He told me that he feels “giddy again.” It feels amazing, but at the same time it’s led us to some discussion. He recognizes how [...]
Awakening
The other morning, I woke up feeling the slight tingle of desire in my loins and ran with it before it disappeared again. I woke up Jesus, who says that his sleepy brain said, “What’s going on? Is she waking me up… for sexual purposes? OH MY GOD. RUN WITH IT, MAN! GO! GO!” And [...]
If You Can Dream It, You Can Do It
I’ve been woken up by a punch to the face. When I yell, he jumps up and says, “Sorry! I was trying to throw an arrow.” He rolls over and goes back to sleep. Another time, “a roundhouse kick” has hit me in the shin. I’ve been jolted awake by yelling in Russian (he’s fluent), [...]
Walking vs. Driving
After another argument about our lack of sex, Jesus and I decided to sit down once again to talk about it. I told him that I’d been the one whose advances were always turned down before, and I know how bad it feels. I understand that it feels like something is wrong with you and that [...]
Our Humble Abode
Yesterday was our housewarming party at our new apartment, so I thought I’d share some pictures of our place. It will probably never be this clean again. The living room is my favorite room in the house right now. We got that couch on Craigslist for wicked cheap, and it’s beautiful (even though it feel [...]
An Offer I Can’t Refuse
I may be the luckiest woman in the world. My boyfriend is more understanding than I could ever have expected anyone to be. We’ve been having a total lack of sex lately, and it makes both of us feel like crap. He does everything he can not to push or pressure me or make me [...]
History Lesson
Jesus (who grew up in New Hampshire and Boston): “Okay, I’m trying to grasp this. So you didn’t have, like, Revolutionary War history field trips when you were in school? That’s just so… weird.” Me: “Well, seeing as Fort Lauderdale was founded in 1911, I’m going to let you figure that one out on your [...]
Necessity