In regards to my squirting:
“It was pretty hot and it definitely turned me on, but it was really messy. Could you maybe not do it so much next time?”
FAIL. There will now definitely be no “next time.” And people wonder why I was so insecure about it for so long.
But! It gets worse! He then let me know that I could do porn if I wanted, because squirting is quite the asset to have if you’re a porn performer. He even offered to be my agent/manager! I let him know that I was not interested in doing porn. His response?
“What a waste of talent!”
DOUBLE FAIL. Thanks for playing, though!
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
20 Comments
Ugh, I hate it when people are assholes after you’ve already had sex with them. It’s like they retroactively didn’t deserve it. Taints the whole experience, no matter how awesome in bed they were.
What an idiot!
It’s a gift from you to him, and he should have treated it like one.
Oh….neglected to mention…..never be ashamed of that.
It’s beautiful.
So much fail. “could you maybe not do it so much next time” just cracks me up. Like he’s trying to be nice about it but actually is just failing so miserably.
He’s an idiot. How would you even control that? Better yet — why would you want to?
I’m working hard at trying to relax enough to squirt regularly. Because it’s HOT.
I had a similar reaction from a guy once, who was positively sure I was peeing on him. I tried explaining to him about squirting, but when he still just gave me the “sure babe, what ever you say” look, I stopped seeing him. My current boyfriend absolutely loves that I squirt, and I can see how it turns him on every time it he makes it happen for me, so now I totally love being able to do it!:)
Well, it is messy…
I agree with this, but you don’t ask someone to stop a normal bodily reaction. You just invest in a waterproof blanket or a few spare towels. I’m not gonna lie, I’d be pretty irritated if I wasn’t warned (I like to be warned with men as well), but asking a woman to stop squirting is like asking a man to stop ejaculating. Not cool.
For what it’s worth, I always warn my partners ahead of time, because I know how jarring it can be if someone doesn’t know it’s going to happen.
Anyone who has a problem with “mess” needs to just not have sex.
I wonder how he’d feel if he had to make less “mess”.
Do NOT stop, or curtail. It is a wonderful thing !
Hey just get a male escort. Your sex positive and support sex workers. U can set up boundaries ahead of time with time limits too
Ew. This dude is gross.
“Could you maybe not experience so much pleasure? You know, maybe try inhibiting your sexual response and refraining from your natural reactions… Unless it’s going to make me rich and famous! Then go right ahead. Just not on my sheets.” What. A. Jerk.
God, so put a towel down. What a jerkoff.
And the porn thing? What the fucking fuck?
That’s like asking if he could make his cock less hard next time. Fail.
Surely if you make someone squirt, thats a compliment. Good for you Brit
bwahahahaha. My ex (who is an MIT alum) dumped me because I “made too much noise” during sex and “got too wet”. Yes, there are ways to deal with wetness/squirting (towels: a great invention!), but asking a partner to not do it is such an epic fail.
Enjoying sex makes you a big ol’ yucky slut, dontchaknow.
Okay, seriously, where are these guys from? Neptune? They don’t sound like any earthlings I’ve ever met.
What an idiot. It took me ages to learn to be comfortable enough with my body to squirt, my ex didn’t like it so I took great pleasure one night in squirting all over his pillow.
Then he got the boot.