Category Archives: Sex Miscellany

Lactation Fetish For Alcoholics

I think Jesus and I may have found our version of a lactation fetish. He’s a boob guy. And a booze guy. Which clearly means that there could be nothing more perfect for our sex life than this. Behold: THE WINE RACK. I can feed him booze from my bosom. And really, is there anything [...]
Also posted in Self Medication | Tagged | 1 Comment


The raging UTIs that I get almost monthly* almost make the sex not worth having. Almost. *I don’t want to hear what worked for you, or remedies, but thanks for the thought. I know them all. I have what my doctor called “the perfect storm” for UTIs: a urethra abnormally close to my vaginal opening [...]
Posted in Sex Miscellany | 7 Comments

Once and For All

One of my biggest pet peeves: Come: verb. The act of orgasming. “I’m going to come!” “Please come on me!” Cum: noun. Ejaculate, semen. “His cum tastes awful!” “Did we get cum on the couch?” Get it? Got it? Good.
Posted in Sex Miscellany | 9 Comments

Double Standards

Via Postsecret: What’s with the smile at the end? Are you proud of yourself for being a selfish, smug, hypocritical cunt? What the hell gives you the right to think you can control your partner’s sexuality, especially when you partake in the activity that you don’t want him to partake in? What’s with the double [...]
Also posted in Relationships, Sexuality | 10 Comments

The More You Know

Apparently, finding out that I am very affectionate and a total cuddle whore is more of a surprise than me asking someone to “hurt me” the first time we fucked.
Also posted in Sexuality | Tagged | 1 Comment

Maybe One Day I’ll Be More Than Just Sex To Someone

If I had a nickel for every person that’s told me that I’m “fun,” but “not the kind of girl you bring home to your mother,” I’d have quite a few nickels. And honestly, I think that’s one of the meanest things you can say to someone. It’s like a punch in the gut. “I [...]
Also posted in Griping and Kvetching and Bitching, Relationships, Soul Searching | Tagged , | 20 Comments

Promiscuity Done Right

I have a UTI (boo. But yay for sex!), so I went to the Planned Parenthood near my apartment. Of course, they have to ask you a lot of questions to assess your risk factors and whatnot. I answered them all quickly and without any hint of shame or embarrassment, but the more questions that [...]
Also posted in Population Control and Orgasmic Artillery, Sexuality | 13 Comments

Um, no. Surely I can’t be the only one that is completely rubbed the wrong way by the title of this book?
Also posted in SGO, Sexuality | 8 Comments

PSA: On Seduction, Part Deux

ATTENTION MEN: If you are trying to get me to sleep with you, telling me that you “have a pretty big one. Thick, too,” (repeatedly) is not the way to go about it. Not only do I not care how big your penis is, I a) shouldn’t know anything about it before I’ve actually gotten [...]
Also posted in Public Service Announcement | 9 Comments

How to Guarantee That I Will Never Sleep With You Again

In regards to my squirting: “It was pretty hot and it definitely turned me on, but it was really messy. Could you maybe not do it so much next time?” FAIL. There will now definitely be no “next time.” And people wonder why I was so insecure about it for so long. But! It gets [...]
Also posted in Griping and Kvetching and Bitching, Sexcapades | 20 Comments
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  • Britni TheVadgeWig

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