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Britni TheVadgeWig
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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Monthly Archives: December 2010
Complementary
People often say that “opposites attract” (even though science seems to have disproved that, but I’m not prepared to go looking for the studies right now). And in many ways, Jesus and I can appear to be opposites. He calls himself a “high anxiety East Coast Jew.” He gets overwhelmed and stressed out easily, and [...]
Wardrobe Malfunction: Big Foot
I finally got my snow boots, and they are absolutely ridiculous. In the best possible way, of course. I wore them today. They’re kind of hard to see in this picture, but you do get a small view of another part of my apartment. I am wearing: Gray v-neck sweater, Target Blue pencil skirt, Express [...]
Posted in Wardrobe Malfunction 5 Comments
Win-Win
The best thing about being a chick with an awesome rack that lives for nipple stimulation dating one of the biggest “tit guys” I’ve ever encountered is that EVERYBODY WINS ALL THE TIME. Playing with my tits gets me off. Playing with my tits gets him off. Like I said, everybody’s a winner in this [...]
My Own Hands
The other night, Jesus and I had a bit of a tiff. After it was over, I immediately wanted to fuck. But he stopped me and said, “I’m sorry, but we were just fighting for 4 hours. That doesn’t exactly put me in the mood for sex.” I was flabbergasted. I was all, “But… but… [...]
Posted in Griping and Kvetching and Bitching, Relationships, Sex Miscellany, Sexcapades Tagged Jesus 1 Comment
Day 10: Someone You Don’t Talk To As Much As You’d Like
I sucked for a while and let my 30 Days of Letters fall by the wayside. I’m going to try and start writing them again. Dear Dad, I wish we talked more, and not just in the literal sense. Because while it’s true that we don’t talk very often, and when I live away from [...]
Posted in 30 Days of Letters, Parental Control Leave a comment
Geyser
I used to think that I could only squirt with proper g-spot stimulation. Once I became used to squirting and knew what kind of stimulation caused it, I got really good at it. I could do it with less g-spot stimulation than I’d required before. I knew which pelvic muscles to flex to make it [...]
Drunk Texting With Jess Manifesto
This is not the first wedding that I’ve received a drunk text from Jess Manifesto from. Jess: Brrrrrrrintio Jess: Cakae and wine at a wsddi g is the best satidyat ever. Me: Another wedding? Jess: Yesssss! Jess: Eceyive I ate is here Jess: Jerks Me: I hate people I hate. They’re the worst. Jess: Expeficjalky [...]
Keeper
The other night I was in a foul mood. I’d had a terrible day at work, and Jesus missing a call to hang out was the tiny straw that broke the camel’s back. I did what I often do when I’m upset: I regress. When I get to that place, I become completely childish. I’m [...]
Strong
The other day, I asked my clients to write down what it means to them to be strong. Then, if they chose, they could share what they had written with the group. I was blown away by the insight and intelligence of these women, and how many of them dug beyond the standard or expected [...]
Posted in Psychobabble, Relationships, Soul Searching 2 Comments
Wardrobe Malfunction: Festive