Category Archives: It Felt Like A Kiss

Hostage Situation

The trailer for the new Jennifer Aniston/Gerard Butler movie The Bounty Hunter makes me angry, and really, really uncomfortable (trailer starts at about 00:27): You know what’s hysterical? Picking up your ex-girlfriend and throwing her in a trunk, and hanging up on her when she calls you from said trunk crying because you “know her [...]
Also posted in Caterwauling About The Patriarchy, Culture Goes Pop, Griping and Kvetching and Bitching, Rape Culture | 18 Comments

Differing Sex Drives = Domestic Violence (Except That It Doesn’t)

Most idiotic quote of the year goes to Bettina Ardnt, from her piece, “Women need to say yes to sex.” (Emphasis mine): “For couples to experience regular, pleasurable sex and sustain loving relationships women must get over that ideological roadblock of assumptions about desire and ”just do it”. The result will be both men and [...]
Also posted in Griping and Kvetching and Bitching, Rape Culture | 9 Comments

Domestic Violence on MTV’s ‘Teen Mom’

I’ve praised MTV’s show Teen Mom, in conversations and on Twitter, for being a really groundbreaking show. Last year, they aired 16 and Pregnant, which followed four pregnant teens on their journey through pregnancy. Teen Mom picks up where 16 and Pregnant left off. The show is real, raw, heartbreaking, and really, really important. It’s [...]
Also posted in Caterwauling About The Patriarchy, Culture Goes Pop | 7 Comments

Aftercare, Part II: Traumatic Bonding

This is Part II in a three-part series on aftercare. Part I can be found here. Part III is here. Before I begin this post, I want to make it very clear that BDSM is not abuse, and the two are quite different. For clarification on what does and does not constitute abuse in BDSM [...]
Also posted in BDSM, Relationships, Submission | 5 Comments

Hate “The Player” And The Game

There is a chapter in Lundy Bancroft’s book Why Does He Do That? that identifies “types” of abusers. Not every abuser fits into a specific type, some have bits and pieces from several different types, and some are predominantly one “type,” with certain aspects of other “types.” When I got to the type that Bancroft [...]
Also posted in Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, Relationships | Tagged | 11 Comments

Domestic Violence and Mental Health, Part I

So this is where I come in. Exposure to abuse and trauma over a significant period of time may eventually result in significant mental distress. A significant number of people in the U.S. experience mental health problems – problems that often go unaddressed. Abuse and violence are associated with increased risk for developing a range [...]
Also posted in Psychobabble | 1 Comment


These Versace ads for F/W 2009 (featuring Gisele Bundchen) creep me out. I collect ads and pictures from magazines and keep a book of them, for use with clients. It’s a projective thing; I’ll ask them to tell me a story about the person in the picture, or see which photos produce reactions in them, [...]
Also posted in Culture Goes Pop, Griping and Kvetching and Bitching | 11 Comments

Teen Dating Violence

This is the eighth part in a series about domestic violence, in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. You may want to read Parts I, II, III, IV, V, VI and VII. I have two more parts in this series, and then I’ll be done with it. They’re about domestic violence and mental health, which [...]
Posted in It Felt Like A Kiss | 4 Comments

Rihanna Finally Speaks

Rihanna has finally decided to talk about her relationship with Chris Brown and the incident involving his arrest and the leaking of her pictures after the assault. She says in Glamour magazine: “It was humiliating; that is not a photo you would show to anybody. I felt completely taken advantage of. I felt like people [...]
Also posted in Culture Goes Pop | 5 Comments

Innocent Victims: The Effects of Domestic Violence on Children, Part II

This is the seventh part in a series about domestic violence, in honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month. You may want to read Parts I, II, III, IV, V, and VI. This is Part II of II on how domestic violence affects children. Part I can be found here. There are many different ways that [...]
Posted in It Felt Like A Kiss | 2 Comments
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