Category Archives: Self Medication


I want to write about some of the struggles that Jesus and I have regarding his addiction, and the role that it often plays in our relationship. Although 90% of the time our relationship is scarily wonderful and perfect, there’s 10% of the time when we have to deal with drug and/or alcohol use. It’s [...]
Also posted in Relationships | Tagged | 1 Comment


After Jesus’ confession the other night, I asked if we could keep Narcan in the house. I’ve got it in the bathroom now, but I need to find a new place to keep it because I feel sick every time I see it.
Also posted in Griping and Kvetching and Bitching | Tagged | 4 Comments


Jesus has been amazing in maintaining his sobriety from heroin. He’s done a better job than I ever expected him to do. After I gave him the ultimatum at the end of November that he stops using or he loses me, his heroin addiction has been a non-existent worry. He got a Suboxone prescription and [...]
Also posted in Relationships, Soul Searching | Tagged | 5 Comments

Drunk Texting With Jess Manifesto

This is not the first wedding that I’ve received a drunk text from Jess Manifesto from. Jess: Brrrrrrrintio Jess: Cakae and wine at a wsddi g is the best satidyat ever. Me: Another wedding? Jess: Yesssss! Jess: Eceyive I ate is here Jess: Jerks Me: I hate people I hate. They’re the worst. Jess: Expeficjalky [...]
Also posted in With A Little Help From My Friends | Tagged | 3 Comments


Right now, we’re in this never-ending cycle of suck. I’ve put my foot down regarding being in his presence when he’s under the influence of an opiate. And I’ve stuck to that, too. However, inevitably, I’ll show up somewhere to meet him, or he’ll pick me up from work, and I’ll take one look at [...]
Also posted in Relationships, Soul Searching | Tagged | 7 Comments

Lactation Fetish For Alcoholics

I think Jesus and I may have found our version of a lactation fetish. He’s a boob guy. And a booze guy. Which clearly means that there could be nothing more perfect for our sex life than this. Behold: THE WINE RACK. I can feed him booze from my bosom. And really, is there anything [...]
Also posted in Sex Miscellany | Tagged | 1 Comment

I’m Just So Tired…

I have chronic fatigue caused by hypothyroidism. For years, I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was always tired, and could easily sleep 14 hours a day if not woken up. In fact, my fatigue has created significant problems in almost every relationship I’ve ever been in. Before I knew what it was, [...]
Also posted in Relationships, Soul Searching | Tagged | 3 Comments

Drunk Texting With Jess Manifesto: NYSBCP Edition

While at the Calendar Party, I received a drunk text from Jess Manifesto. I was SO EXCITED, since other people got to experience the wonder of Jess’ texts. It was an interactive event (all links added by me, obvi). Jess: Beteuni!!!!!! Jess: Inbat a wessj h! Jess: Wedding drunk fun knens head! Me: I’m at [...]
Also posted in With A Little Help From My Friends | Tagged | 5 Comments

Drunk Texting With Jess Manifesto

I would like to preface this by saying that I was also highly, highly intoxicated during this exchange, and we have the same phone, so are tying on the same keypad. Jess: Omg ski brkjyi!!!! Me: Hiiiiiii! Jess: Pron and watchingwiyh won’t and uim drunk. Jess: Sexuk hole li jets part 3. Me: Sounds fun! [...]
Also posted in With A Little Help From My Friends | Tagged | 4 Comments

Something. Anything. Nothing.

I brush my teeth too hard, intentionally drawing blood. I gag myself while brushing my tongue. Anything to feel something. Something to feel anything. The water in the shower is way too hot. It scalds me, turning my skin bright red. I don’t turn it down. Anything to feel something. Something to feel anything. I [...]
Also posted in BDSM, Depression, Soul Searching | 4 Comments
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