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Britni TheVadgeWig
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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Get Yourself Off
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Category Archives: Sexcapades
JSYK…
I got laid last night. Twice. That is all. Continue on with your daily activities. (Hey, it’d been over a month! I have every right to brag about it!)
PSA: On Seduction
ATTENTION MEN: when trying to seduce a woman, it is best not to remove your (hard) penis from the hole in your boxers and whip it around like a helicopter while yelling, “Woo! Woo!” This has been a Public Service Announcement. No, this has never happened to me on a first date before. Why do [...]
Also posted in Public Service Announcement 6 Comments
Jack
Jack was my first college boyfriend. “Jack” is short for “jack rabbit,” as sex with him was what I like to refer to as “jack rabbit sex.” If you’ve ever seen that Sex and the City episode, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. I almost died the first time I saw it (the jack [...]
Also posted in Relationships Leave a comment
Yes, I’m Sure
“You’re sure I can be rough?” “Oh my god, YES. I’ve told you, like, 9 million times that I want you to be!” And with that, he slapped me across the face pushed my head down on his cock, and choked me with it. I liked it very much. “I can smell your whore cunt [...]
Safety First
There is nothing as cute as a really hot chick rolling a condom onto the attachment of her strap on, putting her hands on her hips, and chirping, “Safety first!” before she walks over and fucks you. I’m convinced of it.
Pig
If there’s one thing that I still have to get used to with Dude, it’s being called a “pig” in bed. I’ve been called everything under the sun in the bedroom: “slut,” “whore,” “cunt,” you name it. However, I’ve never been called a pig. Generally, I’m cool with whatever you want to throw at me [...]
A (Short) Ode To Uncut Cocks
I like penises of all shapes and sizes, I really do. Big, small, fat, thin, cut, uncut. Really, they’re all fabulous. But there’s something about an uncut cock that just makes me so, so happy. I’ve been known to squeal with delight upon discovering that someone is uncut (Dude may or may not have laughed [...]
DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT $200
“I’m gonna stick a thick 8-inch phallus up your ass without lube and then you can try to tell me that we don’t need it!” -Me, to Dude after he insisted that no, we didn’t need lube when I said we did, and spit on his hand before shoving a really large penis into my [...]
Are You Sure?