Category Archives: Rape Culture


Me: “Yeah, I don’t really like downtown or clubs because there are a ton of drunk douchebags that are always touching and grabbing at me, and I don’t really take well to that.” Him: “You’re picky. I mean, you don’t even like people touching you!” Me: “Um, I don’t like people touching me when I don’t WANT [...]
Also posted in Caterwauling About The Patriarchy, Make Me A Match | 9 Comments

Survey: Experiences of rape and sexual assault

Elizabeth at Shades of Gray is conducting a survey of experiences of rape and sexual assault. The details are here. Check it out if you’re interested.
Posted in Rape Culture | 1 Comment

No Means No, Regardless of the Forum

I want to address sexual assault. But not the kind of sexual assault that we normally think of when we hear the words “sexual assault.” We usually think of sexual assault as something physical. But there are other kinds of sexual assault, too. Many bloggers, particularly female sex bloggers, deal with unwanted online advances, mostly from [...]
Posted in Rape Culture | 19 Comments


Being a sexual assault survivor gives you membership to a club that you never wanted to join. But it’s not a small club by any means. It’s not a prestigious membership in any way. It’s a club that no one ever wants to belong to, yet nearly 1 in 4 women in this country do. [...]
Also posted in Soul Searching | 9 Comments

Guest Post: Alana’s Story

Alana has asked if I would post the story of her rape, and I’m honored to do so. Show her some love and support, y’all. ******************************* As I sit here deleting and retyping words, I realize there’s no way pretty way to say I was raped. For years I wouldn’t even use the word “rape.” If the need [...]
Also posted in With A Little Help From My Friends | 8 Comments

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. How do we raise awareness about these things? We tell our stories. We share them with others. I’ve shared two kinds of stories. I’ve shared the story of my rape. I’ve also shared my experiences with “Not Rape,” but that doesn’t make these things any less of a sexual assault, or [...]
Posted in Rape Culture | 4 Comments

Guest Post: Nell Gwynne

This is a guest post, courtesy of Nell Gwynne. ************************* On Tuesday night, my hands involuntarily shook for an hour and a half. I slept poorly, and my mood didn’t really improve until this evening. This was because I ran into a psychotic ex while getting fitted for a costume for a film I’m rehearsing for. He [...]
Also posted in With A Little Help From My Friends | 4 Comments


I know I said I wouldn’t be writing about my personal life, but I had written this already, and I felt like it was important for me to post. A lot of people disagreed with my decision to sleep with The Bruiser after my break-up with Profligacy. However, there were reasons for the decision. Everyone has [...]
Also posted in Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, Daddy, Sex Miscellany, The Bruiser | 17 Comments

Hostage Situation

The trailer for the new Jennifer Aniston/Gerard Butler movie The Bounty Hunter makes me angry, and really, really uncomfortable (trailer starts at about 00:27): You know what’s hysterical? Picking up your ex-girlfriend and throwing her in a trunk, and hanging up on her when she calls you from said trunk crying because you “know her so [...]
Also posted in Caterwauling About The Patriarchy, Culture Goes Pop, Griping and Kvetching and Bitching, It Felt Like A Kiss | 18 Comments

Sexual Violence and Rape On Postsecret

I love Postsecret, because as heartbreaking as it can be, it’s such a good reminder that you are not alone in your struggles and your pain and your experiences. And sometimes, that’s enough.
Posted in Rape Culture | 4 Comments
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