Me: “Yeah, I don’t really like downtown or clubs because there are a ton of drunk douchebags that are always touching and grabbing at me, and I don’t really take well to that.”

Him: “You’re picky. I mean, you don’t even like people touching you!”

Me: “Um, I don’t like people touching me when I don’t WANT them touching me, no.”

Him: “See? Picky.”

Me: “I hesitate to call the dislike of being sexually assaulted ‘picky’.”

Him: “Yeah, I’m not really into forced sexual situations.”


This entry was posted in Caterwauling About The Patriarchy, Make Me A Match, Rape Culture. Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  1. EveNo Gravatar
    Posted April 23, 2010 at 2:24 am | Permalink

    Wow, wanting to decide who gets to touch you and when is being picky? What are we, objects? Oh, wait.

  2. AmyNo Gravatar
    Posted April 23, 2010 at 4:14 am | Permalink

    This is my greatest pet hate. Also, my favourite thing is when you glare at guys (or I guess, girls although that’s never happened to me) who touch you without consent/warning you get the ‘are you frigid?’ look. Mmmhhmmm asshole, I don’t want your greasy mitts on my new dress because I’m sexually closed off. I guess I’m picky too!


  3. EvaNo Gravatar
    Posted April 23, 2010 at 5:19 am | Permalink

    I was with some (hetero) boys I know at a gay club once. One of them started freaking out and left the building as he’d had his ass touched by a stranger, and had people rubbing up against him. He said people looked at him with preying eyes and he couldn’t stand to be touched when he didn’t want to, so we couldn’t stay there even though the music was awesome. And I was thinking that this is what I have to live with wherever I go, and a spiteful part of me wanted us to stay and for him having to tolerate it the way that I am forced to do. It didn’t seem fair that he could choose to leave the club and find himself another club, whereas I would have to stay at home if I wanted to avoid experiences like that.

  4. Champagne and BenzNo Gravatar
    Posted April 23, 2010 at 11:01 am | Permalink

    I can’t argue with you on this one. I’ve never been much of a clubber, but when I used to go to regular clubs with my female friends, I spent the entire time protecting them from sleazebags who’d start crotch-grinding with them, without so much as an introduction.

    My girlfriend (now wife) used to take us to gay clubs instead because she and her friends could actually just enjoy themselves and dance there.

  5. twgNo Gravatar
    Posted April 23, 2010 at 12:13 pm | Permalink

    That gets a special ::headdesk:: from me today.

  6. BlowJoyNo Gravatar
    Posted April 23, 2010 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    @Eva: TOTALLY. It’s amazing how offended straight men get in gay clubs, just getting looked at. It’s like NOW YOU KNOW.

  7. JessNo Gravatar
    Posted April 23, 2010 at 5:08 pm | Permalink

    C&B, I usually go to gay clubs for the same reason! It’s much more relaxed when you can actually dance w/o fear of someones hand sliding down the back of your pants (which has actually happened to me at other places)

  8. Nell GwynneNo Gravatar
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 9:06 am | Permalink

    Hell, I can’t even get into most of the clubs down here in Savannah (how many more months till I turn 21?), but I have heard the “wanting to have boundaries respected=being picky” analogy way too many times.

  9. Champers and BenzNo Gravatar
    Posted April 24, 2010 at 9:43 am | Permalink

    @blowjoy – please try not to generalize, considering the comment above yours (mine) demonstrates that not ALL straight men feel that way. ;-)

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Subscribe without commenting

  • This site contains adult content and is not intended for anyone under the age of 18. Under 18? Click here:


  • Britni TheVadgeWig

    PhotobucketI'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
    Photobucket Photobucket
  • Because I Am a Shameless, Broke-Ass Bitch

    All donations are welcome, of course! You can always buy me something off my wishlist, as well.

  • Get Yourself Off

    Good Vibes PinkCherry Sex Toys Love yourself. Everyday. Tickle. Photobucket ER-150x250-1a_3 / JT's Stockroom
  • Photobucket
  • See My Writing At

    Photobucket Photobucket
  • Watch Them Get Off

    visit ifeelmyself.com Photobucket visit beautifulagony.com
  • The What

  • The Who

  • Go Back In Time