Category Archives: Make Me A Match

The Irishman

So… I met someone. And I kinda like him am smitten. We had our first date on a Thursday night a couple weeks back. I left  that Friday morning when he went to work (no sex; just some dry humping and possibly second base. What kind of girl do you think I am?!). And then, [...]
Posted in Make Me A Match | Tagged | 5 Comments

Nice Melons!

The Irishman doesn’t necessarily want me telling his friends that we met online, which is fine. So when his friend asked me how we met, I said, “We were standing in line at the grocery store, and I noticed him checking out my melons.” He’s okay with that story.
Posted in Make Me A Match | Tagged | 7 Comments

What This Message Lacks in Punctuation, It Makes Up For In Lameness*

Am I the only one that gets excessive numbers of marriage proposals and/or references to marrying the person in initial messages on dating sites? Because I get a lot. how is my future mrs Pete tonight lol is rained most of the weekend here so I cleaned my house and wathed movies and where the [...]
Posted in Make Me A Match | 4 Comments


“I like bitchy women that know how to shut up and take it in bed.” I’m pretty sure I qualify. Yes, I think we’ll get along just fine.
Also posted in Submission | Tagged | 2 Comments

I Say Appropriate Things, Or How To Be A Classy Broad

Me, trying to schedule a date with a guy: Yeah, whatever works. I’m easy and flexible… [awkward pause] That’s what she said? And then, of course, I continued. Sorry. I mean, I know you’re busy, and my schedule is wide open… [mumbling under breath] like my legs? I really need to find my filter. I [...]
Posted in Make Me A Match | Tagged | 3 Comments

Stream of Consciousness

This might be one of the oddest messages I’ve ever received in my dating site inbox. wow… what a fucking song. bitters oy yeah…your still eating yur alphabets soup elton john. fuck do you care if you ever hear anyone saying they are a punk just smirk and run oh a cynical one i am [...]
Posted in Make Me A Match | 2 Comments

Oh, Look. I’m Being Psychoanalyzed via My Dating Profile

Thanks for the psychoanalysis, Dr. Frued. Tell me something else! I doubt we’d get along outside of the online avenue… you seem amazing at times but there is this hint of something else… too much effort? /shrug. I want to say, “I hope you find what you are looking for” but I don’t think you [...]
Posted in Make Me A Match | 4 Comments


Me: “Yeah, I don’t really like downtown or clubs because there are a ton of drunk douchebags that are always touching and grabbing at me, and I don’t really take well to that.” Him: “You’re picky. I mean, you don’t even like people touching you!” Me: “Um, I don’t like people touching me when I [...]
Also posted in Caterwauling About The Patriarchy, Rape Culture | 9 Comments

At Least He Didn’t Ask If I’d Be His Bella

Dude *might* get points for creativity on the greeting, though. Subject: hey Can I be your Edward Cullen? Yo yo yo!!! Whats going on my homie g-funk era with a kiwi lemon-lime twist! He then goes on to mention nothing about Twilight, or anything of substance for the better part of 7 paragraphs. It’s probably [...]
Posted in Make Me A Match | 3 Comments

Ego Boost

You know it’s not going to go well when his first message to you is this: I hope you won’t take this wrong, but I LOVE bisexual hipsters (not for the reason you think), and you are a beautiful example. if you do take offense, just call me old and I’ll slink away… Now, I’m [...]
Also posted in Caterwauling About The Patriarchy, SGO | 9 Comments
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