-
This site contains adult content and is not intended for anyone under the age of 18. Under 18? Click here:
-
Britni TheVadgeWig
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
-
Get Yourself Off
Good Vibes 
-
-
See My Writing At
-
Watch Them Get Off
Category Archives: Make Me A Match
Nice Melons!
The Irishman doesn’t necessarily want me telling his friends that we met online, which is fine. So when his friend asked me how we met, I said, “We were standing in line at the grocery store, and I noticed him checking out my melons.” He’s okay with that story.
Compatibility
“I like bitchy women that know how to shut up and take it in bed.” I’m pretty sure I qualify. Yes, I think we’ll get along just fine.
I Say Appropriate Things, Or How To Be A Classy Broad
Me, trying to schedule a date with a guy: Yeah, whatever works. I’m easy and flexible… [awkward pause] That’s what she said? And then, of course, I continued. Sorry. I mean, I know you’re busy, and my schedule is wide open… [mumbling under breath] like my legs? I really need to find my filter. I [...]
Stream of Consciousness
This might be one of the oddest messages I’ve ever received in my dating site inbox. wow… what a fucking song. bitters oy yeah…your still eating yur alphabets soup elton john. fuck do you care if you ever hear anyone saying they are a punk just smirk and run oh a cynical one i am [...]
Posted in Make Me A Match 2 Comments
Oh, Look. I’m Being Psychoanalyzed via My Dating Profile
Thanks for the psychoanalysis, Dr. Frued. Tell me something else! I doubt we’d get along outside of the online avenue… you seem amazing at times but there is this hint of something else… too much effort? /shrug. I want to say, “I hope you find what you are looking for” but I don’t think you [...]
Posted in Make Me A Match 4 Comments
Picky
Me: “Yeah, I don’t really like downtown or clubs because there are a ton of drunk douchebags that are always touching and grabbing at me, and I don’t really take well to that.” Him: “You’re picky. I mean, you don’t even like people touching you!” Me: “Um, I don’t like people touching me when I [...]
Also posted in Caterwauling About The Patriarchy, Rape Culture 9 Comments
At Least He Didn’t Ask If I’d Be His Bella
Dude *might* get points for creativity on the greeting, though. Subject: hey Can I be your Edward Cullen? Yo yo yo!!! Whats going on my homie g-funk era with a kiwi lemon-lime twist! He then goes on to mention nothing about Twilight, or anything of substance for the better part of 7 paragraphs. It’s probably [...]
Posted in Make Me A Match 3 Comments
Ego Boost
You know it’s not going to go well when his first message to you is this: I hope you won’t take this wrong, but I LOVE bisexual hipsters (not for the reason you think), and you are a beautiful example. if you do take offense, just call me old and I’ll slink away… Now, I’m [...]
Also posted in Caterwauling About The Patriarchy, SGO 9 Comments
The Irishman