Jess Manifesto likes to send me text messages when she’s drunk. Unfortunately, I never have any freaking idea what they say. She sends me jibberish, and I respond with generic answers. She therefore thinks that I understood what she said, and continues talking. Here is last night’s exchange:
Jess: Briiiiiitnnnniiiiii. I jaz w chihahoi drunk! Wooly.
Me: I don’t know what that means, but it sounds awesome.
Jess: Noiben your face. Let’s be males.
Me: Sounds like you are having an awesome time!
Jess: iPhone makes my word sound smart.
Me: I like the jibberish.
Jess: I am. Be in chak Jo go bench!
Jess: I need urs phone bi Ven so I can te y you. Mksu?
Jess: Boobs.
Jess: Brutttttniiiii
Me: Your drunk texting ability is stellar.
Jess: I my vhihaig with my neither my brother. Cgcihago us win.
Me: Fyi, I am posting these on my blog because they are amazing.
Jess: Yay! I cox net!
Jess: Traiiiins!!!!9
Me: Indeed.
Jess: I’m a go a.has you when toy micrm to bostjb
Me: Awesome!
Jess: Ldehm asain so vek g korelke! Yes!!!
She could give Pretty Pretty Princess a run for her money in the incoherent drunk text contest.
This has been drunk texting with Jess Manifesto.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
10 Comments
LOL. “Wooly.” Amazing. I thoroughly enjoyed this.
I’m a much more coherent drunxter than I’d personally guess, but I do roll dirty, just as my little friend in LA
Heh. PS you can’t tell I’m drinkin’ now, eh? 
Yesterday, I sent my boyfriend a text that was cmplete jibberish. However, I was totally sober, and was trying to explain how awesome Inception was.
I’m a winner.
The best part is when to try to blame it on the iPhone. You’re my hero!
hahahahahaahah that is awesome
hahahhaha full of the awesome!!!:)
Great! Just spilled coffee in my keyboard from laughing… Awesome!
Hahahaha this is soooo amazing, and yet isn’t too far from mine and my friends drunk texts we send each other…example:
“Tricks…Bitches…Thieves…We’ve soulmates”
This is awesomesauce. I was reading those texts thinking a) they sound really familiar and b) I totally get it
lmao
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