My Boyfriend is Better Than Yours

Random text from Jesus:

Dear creatures/beings/entities/spiritual forces to whom I give thanks: Thank you for blessing me with a girlfriend who likes to cuddle, make me laugh, has perfect tits and can suck cock like a porn star.

That might be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. And it totally made my night, as I sit here in bed watching a My So-Called Life marathon on Hulu and recovering from my insanely severe allergic reaction to medication for which I had to finally go to the hospital. Body-consuming hives for multiple days is not fun, and neither are swollen lips and tongue.

And Jesus has been totally awesome through the whole thing. He rubbed hydracortizone cream all over my ugly, angry hives. He came and met me at the ER last night and sat there with me the whole time, even though the cocktail in my IV put me right to sleep for hours. And I woke up this morning to him having gone and gotten my prescriptions filled and prepared, and lox and a bagel and potato salad for me to eat.

Like I said, my boyfriend is better than yours.

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  1. ElodieNo Gravatar
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 9:12 pm | Permalink

    I’m glad you’re happy. But no, he’s not better than mine. There are lots of good guys in the world ;-) .

  2. FDNo Gravatar
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 9:49 pm | Permalink

    Sounds like he loves you, sweets! ;)

  3. adrianaNo Gravatar
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 11:01 pm | Permalink

    Awesome–except for the hives

  4. AuroreNo Gravatar
    Posted November 13, 2010 at 4:43 pm | Permalink

    I’m so glad you have someone who cares for you that way and that you’re happy – you deserve it! (Not sure he’s better than mine either – but they’re both good!)

  5. QueenCatNo Gravatar
    Posted November 17, 2010 at 9:47 pm | Permalink

    Hope you recovered from the hives 100%. Laughed on “suck cock like a porn star”. My BF tells me sometimes I dance like a stripper when we go to salsa dancing lesson. You BF is 100% better than mine. QueenCat

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