ATTENTION MEN: If you are trying to get me to sleep with you, telling me that you “have a pretty big one. Thick, too,” (repeatedly) is not the way to go about it.
Not only do I not care how big your penis is, I a) shouldn’t know anything about it before I’ve actually gotten the chance to see it, and b) am more likely to run away screaming if I think you’re too large. Not to mention that it’s pretty off-putting and kind of pathetic.
This has been a public service announcement.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
9 Comments
That reminds me of in casual encounters when people are like “I have a big, thick tongue.” How do you breathe? Talk? And is that even a thing?
I think when we’re talking about a conscious seduction, less is often more.
As Marcel Proust writes, “An absence, the declining of an invitation to dinner, an unintentional, unconscious harshness are of more service [in a seduction] than all the cosmetics and clothing in the world.”
This aphorism also pretty much sums up why I’m so bad at conventional seduction; I tend to have a lot of enthusiasm for people I’m interested in and don’t hide it very well.
Also, I find lying and manipulation to be basically repugnant and the above strategy seems to require at least some willingness to engage in that sort of thing–at least some conscious dissembling, with apparent shifts between hot and cold to keep the object of your desire guessing. But there just seem to me to be a basic cruelty and lack of respect for the other person’s feelings in that, though that turns me off.
But earnest or sly, crudeness (e.g., discussion of the dimensions of one’s member) are, I think, right out.
*Standing up applauding*
Thank you for saying this. I thought I was the only person repulsed by this.
I assume you mean Part Deux (sorry the French major in me can’t let it go…)
I did indeed. Thank you
I’m a straight guy and I hear guys brag about their dicks all the time. It’s at that point, I know that it must be really small. I mean, why else tell everybody how big it is unless you’re covering for something???
As for mine, it might not be very long, but it sure is skinny
Any man who can only think to talk about his dick size when trying to seduce a woman is extremely boring. Well, except for the humor value.
This reminds me of this message I got from an old guy who kept repeating that he was “rich, fit and well-hung” in oder to seduce me. Pretty tacky (though quite hilarious).
SO true. I had a man just yesterday chatting me up and he said, “I’m clean. Have good hygiene. Take good care of myself. And I’m hung.” And I was like, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. First of all, everything but your penis size should be a fucking given. Secondly, leave something to be discovered. Shut up already.” – Well, I didn’t say shut up, but I did delete him off my chat and said I had to go wash my hair. Same diff, right?