Drunk Texting With Jess Manifesto

Jess Manifesto likes to send me text messages when she’s drunk. Unfortunately, I never have any freaking idea what they say. She sends me jibberish, and I respond with generic answers. She therefore thinks that I understood what she said, and continues talking. Here is last night’s exchange:

Jess: Briiiiiitnnnniiiiii. I jaz w chihahoi drunk! Wooly.

Me: I don’t know what that means, but it sounds awesome.

Jess: Noiben your face. Let’s be males.

Me: Sounds like you are having an awesome time!

Jess: iPhone makes my word sound smart.

Me: I like the jibberish.

Jess: I am. Be in chak Jo go bench!

Jess: I need urs phone bi Ven so I can te y you. Mksu?

Jess: Boobs.

Jess: Brutttttniiiii

Me: Your drunk texting ability is stellar.

Jess: I my vhihaig with my neither my brother. Cgcihago us win.

Me: Fyi, I am posting these on my blog because they are amazing.

Jess: Yay! I cox net!

Jess: Traiiiins!!!!9

Me: Indeed.

Jess: I’m a go a.has you when toy micrm to bostjb

Me: Awesome!

Jess: Ldehm asain so vek g korelke! Yes!!!

She could give Pretty Pretty Princess a run for her money in the incoherent drunk text contest.

This has been drunk texting with Jess Manifesto.

This entry was posted in Awesomeness, Self Medication, With A Little Help From My Friends and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  1. EpiphoraNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 7:00 pm | Permalink

    LOL. “Wooly.” Amazing. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

  2. twgNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 7:48 pm | Permalink

    I’m a much more coherent drunxter than I’d personally guess, but I do roll dirty, just as my little friend in LA :) Heh. PS you can’t tell I’m drinkin’ now, eh? :)

  3. Nell GwynneNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 7:58 pm | Permalink

    Yesterday, I sent my boyfriend a text that was cmplete jibberish. However, I was totally sober, and was trying to explain how awesome Inception was.

  4. Jess ManifestoNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 8:15 pm | Permalink

    I’m a winner.

    • Outspoken CliticNo Gravatar
      Posted July 24, 2010 at 8:28 pm | Permalink

      The best part is when to try to blame it on the iPhone. You’re my hero!

  5. frenchNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 10:00 pm | Permalink

    hahahahahaahah that is awesome :D

  6. tonya cinnamonNo Gravatar
    Posted July 24, 2010 at 11:31 pm | Permalink

    hahahhaha full of the awesome!!!:)

  7. Toys in LoveNo Gravatar
    Posted July 25, 2010 at 8:10 am | Permalink

    Great! Just spilled coffee in my keyboard from laughing… Awesome!

  8. SamanthaNo Gravatar
    Posted July 25, 2010 at 6:10 pm | Permalink

    Hahahaha this is soooo amazing, and yet isn’t too far from mine and my friends drunk texts we send each other…example:

    “Tricks…Bitches…Thieves…We’ve soulmates”

  9. PrettyPrettyPrincessNo Gravatar
    Posted July 25, 2010 at 8:52 pm | Permalink

    This is awesomesauce. I was reading those texts thinking a) they sound really familiar and b) I totally get it


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