I’m sexually submissive with 95% of the people that I’m with. I’m NEVER sexually dominant, but with some partners there’s a much more equal feeling to the sex we have. However, the majority of the time, I’m submissive in some regard, even it’s something as simple as having my wrists held down. But just as some partners don’t bring out the submissive in me at all, some bring out different kinds of submission.
My submission with Profligacy was very docile. It was obedient, it was shy. I never struggled, I always listened, I never (well, hardly ever) resisted. I wanted to please him, I wanted to do what he said, I didn’t want to be difficult. I felt very fragile and very childlike.
My submission with Dude is very different. He’s not a Dom, per se, but he is very dominant. He’s rough, he’s in charge, he’s calling the shots, and doing so in an awesomely vulgar and sometimes degrading manner. But my response to him is quite different. While I still am the submissive party in this exchange, I don’t go down without a fight. I resist, I challenge him, I talk back, and I struggle. It’s a much more feisty kind of submission, one in which we both know who’s ultimately going to come out “on top,” but one that I make him work for.
It’s interesting how different people can bring out different sides of you. Some people don’t make me feel the least bit submissive. Some make me feel extremely submissive. And others make me feel like a feisty little submissive. That last kind of submission fits much better with my out-of-the-bedroom personality. I’m a very feisty little thing in my daily life (you may have noticed that I’m not afraid to speak my mind), and most people are surprised when it doesn’t translate to the bedroom. The way I “submit” to Dude is much more in line with that major aspect of my personality.
And so far, it’s been a blast. He says I have a “bratty attitude and a filthy mouth” and that I’m “in trouble” when he gets back into town. I can only hope that’s the case, because I’ve been running my “tough guy” (his words) mouth all week via text, pushing every button he’s got. The payback should be delicious, and I’ve only brought it on myself. I can’t wait.