I tweeted the other day that Master and I were doing a lot more Daddy/daughter role play lately, and that I liked it a great deal. Predictably, there were quite a few responses saying that it was disturbing, gross, or that people simply didn’t get the appeal of it.
- Age play is NOT related to pedophilia in any way. Pedophilia occurs when someone (an adult) finds a child sexually attractive. Age play occurs between consenting adults, usually with one playing the role of a child and the other playing the role of a caretaker of some sort. It’s also common for both parties to play the role of children.
- Age play (in the Daddy/daughter form that Daddy and I engage in) is NOT related to incest in any way. I have no desire to pretend I’m fucking my *actual* father. Nor does He want to pretend that I am His (hypothetical) actual daughter).
- If anyone is thinking about engaging in age play, make sure issues of abuse and incest are discussed prior. If a sub was abused as a child, certain behaviors, activities, or phrases can be extremely triggering and emotionally damaging. I, personally, do not have the experience (thankfully) of childhood abuse or incest, so for us, this isn’t an issue.
Profligacy: Brit and I often talk about various kinks and fetishes, sharing points of view and opinions. One day the subject of what we termed “Daddy play” came up. We were both game and thought we might like to try it. During one conversation I threw out a line something like, “Daddy likes that.” The immediate girlish response in her face and change in temperament was quite dramatic. Her voice softened and she replied back, “Thank you, Daddy”. Off we went.
I enjoy verbal play. I enjoy the mind-to-mind bonding that goes on in an ever-increasing volley of back and forth described actions and responses. I enjoy demands and statements of desire from both sides ultimately leading to a mutual climax. This time the discourse was between an innocent daughter and her twisted, incestuous father.
Brit has no interest in children, and I know this. I also chose only to smirk back when her eyes rolled slightly back in her head and her smile ALMOST broke character when I told her to say, “I want Daddy to make me pregnant”. Yes, I took you right to the most twisted of statements we made that night. There were others about caring for each other, not letting Mommy find out, she was my special girl, baby makes Daddy hard. I pretty much said whatever I could think of that sounded the most twisted and wrong.
I had never taken that kind of play so far before. We both were teetering on new ground and feeling our way along. After we were both spent I babied her with loving words and comforting statements that, from a respectable father, might sound nice. “You are Daddy’s special girl,” and “Daddy loves baby,” took different meaning after the sordid visual we had just shared. But I will tell you what: It was fun, I felt close to her, and I have absolutely no desire to have that kind of conversation with any underage person, related or not. The same goes for any related person of any age. It was fantasy, and it was a turn on.
Precious, reducing herself to a helpless persona, totally under my care, influenced by my words and wanting desperately to please me in any way, and getting off on it, was fucking hot. We play this often now. I notice when she has had a particularly bad day, or feels weak we tend to do it more. We both find comfort in it. I like that I can be there for her and help her through it. Like our D/s play, we go to [even more of] the darkest of places and return, unscathed. Daddy likes!
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
31 Comments
Congrats — you've both made this type of roleplay sound hot. I was so not expecting that. Hahaha.
Motorcycle Daddy and I sometimes do a little age play. We actually enjoy our little scene
I was literally discussing being a good little girl earlier today. And for all the reasons you stated Britni, I need the same kind of nurturing.
It's sad that you need to preface this post with all the warnings.
I do love that we get to see both sides of this relationship it definitely adds a whole new level of understanding to things.
personally, age play wouldn't be something I'd be interested in, but I enjoyed this post and am glad that it makes you happy. And that should be all that matters.
I've always wanted to experiment with age/incest play, namely a brother-sister situation. I'm not sure what the appeal is; maybe just the need to totally break the rules (and seeing as I have no siblings I don't really feel that this is terribly twisted). I just need to find the right partner for it
I am so glad this works for you.
peace…
Everyone has there own likes/dislikes and sometimes kink to their relationship. As long as you two enjoy what your doing that's all that matters. It's not for others to judge. Kara XOXO
Due to various reasons, I stay away from this kind of play. HOWEVER, I can still imagine it to be really hot and like reading stories about that kind of kink. Personally, I prefer it when the characters are both male, which might have to do with the fact that I generally am not attracted to men – that makes total sense, right?? – but I just wanted to leave a comment to say that I don't think it's gross at all.
I understood where you were coming from until Profligacy went into detail on the dialog…"not letting Mommy find out, she was my special girl, baby makes Daddy hard."
I get the appeal of regressing and being totally dependent (like you said, the way any D/S relationship is). And I don't think throwing the word "daddy" into role play is necessarily extraordinary, but the connotations of the word in this scenario seem contradictory to comfort, by way of :"make her feel good, to cuddle with her afterwards, and to make sure she knows she's safe and loved and protected.", in my opinion.
Your sex life, your choice, of course, but I don't think it should come as a surprise that this kind of play would leave a disturbed and bad taste in people's mouths. But, I'm getting the impression that reaction is what makes it appealing…..Getting off on something that most people who say absolutely not/off limits to.
*most people WOULD say.
Thank you and Profligacy for writing your respective points of view on this. D and I engaged in age play and I did with one other guy, and it was incredibly hot. We never went as far as you guys did (the pregnancy thing really caught my eye–and not in a bad way), and I'm sorry we didn't.
I can understand why this might bother some people, and I wasn't too keen on the idea until I discovered it was a huge turn-on for me. I don't even mind when people voice their opinion that it disturbs and/or grosses them out. I do, however, take umbrage when personal attacks and shit of that sort get flung out.
It's cool that you two enjoy it.
I used to think this kind of play was weird and creepy, but the way you described it made it actually sound pretty hot. Maybe I'll have to try it out sometime… it sounds like fun
>>>>Mommy find out, she was my special girl, baby makes Daddy hard
So you get off pretending you are having sex with a child. Interesting.
I'm not sure what age child you role play but I can only assume from the photo in the post that it is quite young.
Get past all the comforting / fragile stressed out stuff and what you have here is a man pretending to(role playing) have sex with a child.
To comfort her.
To protect her
Having a daughter myself may explain why I find this deeply disturbing.
Maybe because I have seen the after effects of a women being molested when she was young that makes me shake my head at this.
When I am stressed, upset, pouting… I take a fucking walk, or roll a blunt or drink a beer.
I don't pretend to have sex with a helpless child.
See, now I get it. I didn't before (okay, so I guess I kinda did haha), but now it makes so much sense. It's pretty much what you guys do anyways just moved to a slightly more extreme level. Glad you're both enjoying your time together! xo
After the shit-storm that Britni stirred up on Toy With Me, I think it's fair to say that Mr Toy With Me's outrage is somewhat cynical and manufactured.
I, too, find this kind of 'play' kind of disturbing from a personal level – but then again, it is 'play' and it's between you and Profligacy. You've drawn a very firm line between fantasy and reality and anybody who tells you that your consensual, private play is 'wrong' is basically guilty of trying to police people's thoughts.
Browse the net or read some of the stories on asstr.org and you will find thousands of FAR more deeply disturbing fantasies – but that's what they are. FANTASIES.
If you've ever read the books of Nancy Friday – who chronicled a generation of women's sexual fantasies – you'll find that all sorts of 'taboo' subjects (from incest to bestiality) are alarmingly mainstream. This is because rational people know the difference between fantasy and real life.
As I said, personally this kind of play gives me a major 'squick' factor – but I'm sure some of the sexual fantasies zooming around my head wouldn't exactly be Britni's cup of tea either.
First rule of 'sexual positivity' is 'don't judge.'
Mr. Toy With Me,
When I got critical and disagreed with something posted on your site, you called me names, told me I was missing the point, couldn't take a joke, etc. Now, you're doing the same thing on my site; commenting with an attacking and judgmental tone (which I actually never did on yours). Pot, meet kettle.
First of all, we mention several times that no one is pretending to fuck a child. Yes, I call Him "Daddy," he calls me "baby," but it's in the context of our relationship. He *is* my "Daddy." I *am* His "baby," but not in the literal sense. And no, He's not pretending to fuck a child; I'm a 25-year-old woman and I look every bit the part.
It's not REAL. Would it be a good idea to fuck a helpless daughter to make her feel better? OF COURSE NOT. But I'm NOT His daughter. He is NOT my father. And if you think that I haven't seen the after effects of molestation, you'd be wrong. I'm a therapist. For battered and abused women. I've seen it. I know how damaging it is. But that's not what we're doing here.
When you're stressed, you drink a beer or roll a joint. When I'm stressed, I act like a child and want "Daddy" to take care of me. It isn't always about sex, either. Sometimes the role play involves no sex at all. We all handle stress differently. To each their own, which seems to be something that you need to learn how to say.
I'm in full agreement with Champagneandbenzedrine. It does nothing for me personally speaking, sexually. I am an adult survivor of incestuous child abuse and therefore it pushes buttons for me that I don't think I'll ever be ready to have pushed, maybe I will with the right person, but I doubt it.
However, my point is, the two of you are consenting adults in a loving relationship, what you therefore do behind your closed doors to/with each other is absolutely none of mine nor anyone elses' business – other than from a voyeuristic perspective as you've both chosen to let us peek into your shared and individual worlds and we've chosen to look – choice, what a wonderful thing. I like peeking into your world, I don't want to live in it or for it to be my world, but I like peeking. Thanks for sharing by the way
I suggest those who don't like peeking or don't like what they see when they do, well frankly, just don't look.
xx
You think my comment was an attack? Wow. seriously…. wow.
I think I will take @toywithme 's advice and just stay the hell off the sex blogs.
An attacking tone? Yes. There are ways to disagree respectfully. This may be my bad, but I read a harsh and hostile tone into your comments. It may not translate well over the internet, and if that's the case, then I apologize.
But I read it as judgmental and rude, and if that's not how you meant it, then I apologize.
Ditto everything champagneandbenzedrine said.
I'd be lying if I didn't admit to feeling some of the feelings Mr. Toy With Me so plainly expressed, but I realize that is just my emotional response. Ultimately I believe people should do what makes them happy though (and without judgment or condemnation). So rock on Brit.
I find it ridiculous that there have to be so many layers of defense here. How one plays is how they play. But it's play–you will never (again) be a child, and he will never be your father. [I will likely never be a whore, but it doesn't stop me from being turned on when my lover spits the word at me.] It's words and play.
A pedophile would NEVER be turned on by a grown woman–no matter how baby-like her behavior, no matter how convincing her role-play. That anyone would think otherwise indicates that they're unclear about what pedophilia actually is.
I'm not especially into this sort of play either. But I don't see how it is any different than any other role playing. If I wanna dress up like a naughty school girl and be spanked by my teacher that doesn't mean I actually wanna go to Catholic school or that my partner wants to be a teacher. If I wanna play naughty nurse and naughty patient, that doesn't mean I want to be a nurse or that my partner is a hypochondriac.
If this is fucked up, where is the line? Are rape fantasies? Is rough sex? If a guy calls me his dirty little slut in bed, it's hot. If he calls me that at a bar, he's getting punched in the face. The point is that people who participate in fantasies KNOW the difference between fantasy and reality.
Ah yes, the controversy of age play. On my erotica blog I wrote several entries in a series I called the Daddy/babygirl series. I did get one comment from someone saying I should be put in jail. So I have had to make things clear and put warnings on my posts. I stated pretty much what you did at the beginning of this post.
I'm sure that this doesn't come as a surprise, but the posts that get the most hits and the most google search terms all have to do with my Daddy/babygirl series… so as much as there are people saying it's disgusting, those are the posts getting the most hits. On the At Longings End blog, Sylvanus wrote a post about us actually playing out a Daddy/babygirl scene.. guess what… that is also the post that gets the most hits on our blog.
I can see why Age Play can be such a touchy subject. It is delicate. Thanks for writing such an informative post.
xo mina
If someone can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality then perhaps it is they who have the problem, and not Britni & Profligacy.
As far as I know, she is not really a little girl and he's not really her father. Is there something I'm missing here? Because I really don't see the problem with two consenting adults participating in a little role-play.
I don't think anyone here isn't grasping that what Britni and her partner are doing is fantasy play. I think what some people, including myself, are having a hard time wrapping our heads around is what makes something so disturbing as this APPEALING enough to want to role play like this. Of course it isn't real…but like it or not, when someone likes to pretend that they are a twisted father figure, molesting a pretend daughter, it is very hard not to question what kind of person is turned on by a scenario like that. Especially someone with kids.
Jess, may I ask what kind of person you think would be turned on my a scenario like that? And how what He and I do in a bedroom alone together affects His parenting skills?
(the blog decided to eat my first post, so sorry if this shows up twice)
Anyway, That's just it…I have no idea what kind of person is undoubtedly a loving father, but also gets off on pretending he is an abusive, incestuous father to his imaginary daughter. The dynamic of that is confusing to me…
I'm not aiming for condemnation, nor am I insinuating his parenting skills aren't up to par because of this fantasy play he is into, I just can't grasp the consistency as an outsider.
My lover and I don't actually engage in age play (unless one uses a very liberal definition and that wearing kick-pleat skirts, collared button-up shirts, and blazers constitute age play), so instead I'll take this question from another situation that we like to roleplay: rape and nonconsensual situations.
Where we are now in our roleplay is an evolution of our sex life. It began with testing the boundaries here and there, to see what we liked and didn't like. We've been together over 15 years and throughout that time, we've changed the intensity of the roleplaying here and there to where it is today.
Do either of us want to be in a genuine nonconsensual situation? Of course not. Do either of us want to initiate a genuine nonconsensual situation? Of course not. However, we like to pretend with each other. We enjoy using each other and we enjoy being used. When we're together, it's safe and we both find it really hot and that positive sexual energy is a great vibe.
Every person has their own kinks. There are some quite "vanilla" things that people do that completely squick me and my lover out. I'm sure there is stuff that we do that squick others out. However, we all have our sex lives, hopefully, in a positive and satisfying and consensual environments.
There is a mix of comments already posted that share my views on this type of play. While it is not appealing to me in the sense of Daddy/Daughter. I do experience the regress of feeling utterly helpless and wanting my Husband to take care of me and make things stop hurting.
From Ms. Inconspicous "A pedophile would NEVER be turned on by a grown woman–no matter how baby-like her behavior, no matter how convincing her role-play. That anyone would think otherwise indicates that they're unclear about what pedophilia actually is."
and lilblackdress "Every person has their own kinks. We all have our sex lives, hopefully, in a positive and satisfying and consensual environments."
say the rest of what I want to say better than I could hope to say it.
Ms. Inconspicuous – you're alive!
I find it fascinating that people "don't get this" when it is such a commonly exploited mainstream fantasy. Seen a 'naughty school girl' outfit lately? How about the Japanese lolitas? I dunno, it seems VERY common to me that men are attracted to young girls, and are turned on by the feeling of being the older, more powerful force in the scene.
It is different than being a pedophile, because being attracted to a young girl (maybe too young to be socially acceptable) is totally commonplace, and it isn't being attracted to a CHILD it is being attracted to a young WOMAN. Which, however inappropriate you may see it, is totally normal and animalistic…. "Barely Legal" anyone? And playing into that common fantasy as a woman is the same playing into fantasy as wearing all leather or any other outfit worn for visual pleasure. You are turned on by turning on your master, and feeling comfort in that.
There doesn't seem to be anything to 'get'.
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[...] why my relationship with Profligacy was so comforting for me at the time I found it. I got to be the little girl and be taken care of at a time when I needed it most and was horribly stressed. I was lost and [...]