Type

When it comes to men, I like them short; probably somewhere between 5’6 and 5’8. They can’t be shorter than me (I’m 5’5). However, since my last two boys were both over 6’0, I have developed a new love for heels. I wear them everywhere, all day, every day. I may have to reconsider this short guy thing. However, my eye still automatically goes to the shortest guy in the room. I like guys with nice teeth, thin ankles, and dark hair. Eye color does not matter to me much. I am not a fan of big muscles, and I love chest hair. He cannot take longer to get ready than I do (metrosexuals need not apply). Tattoos, piercings, and mohawks rock my socks.

In a woman, I prefer “cute” to “hot”. Blondes do nothing for me, and I tend to prefer brunettes (though I’ve been known to have fallen in love with a redhead).  I hate hate hate cliche, fake Barbie doll women that every guy in our society is conditioned to love: fake bleach blonde hair, fake tits, fake tan, fake face created with make up, fake body created by anorexia. Anyone who is real is automatically 100 times more attractive to me. I love women who are a little more butch. Okay, a lot more butch (yes, that’s a woman). I enjoy being the femme, whether with a man or a woman. I don’t like women to be shorter than me, because when I kiss them while standing, it makes me feel too dominant to kiss them from above. I tend to like girls who are not white: Black, Asian, Latin, mixed, anything really that has a darker complexion than my own.

The one thing (besides that I don’t do blondes) that I have discovered that I like in both men and women is masculinity. I enjoy being the “girl” in the relationship. I don’t know whether or not it is related to my submissive tendencies. I love to be dominated, and consider myself a bottom; many men enjoy being dominant, and there is a much greater chance that a butch woman will consider herself a top than a femme woman. Granted, these are generalizations and of course there are men who are totally submissive, as well as butch women who almost exclusively bottom and femme girls who love to top (hey, I enjoy topping a woman every now and then, too!).

I don’t, however, find men who are uber, excessively masculine just to prove that they are a MAN to be attractive at all. Any supplement taking workout freak with ginormous muscles, beer pong playing frat boys in polo shirts who get angry when they drink whiskey*, or greasy Italian Jersey boy guidos straight from the set of Growing Up Gotti should probably stay as far away from me as possible. If I died and went to hell, it would probably be the house (complete with contestants) on A Shot of Love With Tila Tequila. Ugh**.

On the other hand, I do find transmen to be totally hot. Maybe because it is kind of like the best of both worlds for me: I get a guy who can probably relate to me like a woman does because he used to be one. Plus, chances are he hasn’t had bottom surgery (because the results of the surgery tend to be poor, and many transmen don’t find the surgery necessary to feeling like a man), so it is kind of like being with the butchest lesbian possible. But not, because he is a man. I don’t know. It’s hard to explain, but I get all wet in the pants around transmen. Unfortunately, I have yet to sleep with one. It’s on my list of things to do before I die, though.

So, I guess the moral of the story is that I like masculine traits in my men and my women. Mmmm, now I just want to be held down and completely dominated. Any volunteers?

*Check this link. It is hysterical. It came up when I Googled “frat boy.”

**I also did a Google image search for “douchebag” and found this. Awesome.