Britni Bangs Bartender

That will be the name of the porn that my new “romantically inclined friend” and I release. My friends have always joked that I only like guys that I can see from the waist up, so its fitting that I’m dating a bartender. I met Bartender at my favorite little martini bar, which happens to be right down the street from my house. I also happened to go in along quite often, as I didn’t really (and still don’t) know many people down here anymore. I was still with CB when I first started going in there (not that it mattered; I absolutely despised Bartender anyway).

There was no love at first sight, no instant connection, no tingling down below that made me immediately drawn to him. Not at all. In fact, I thought he was a scumbag. A skeezy, 30-something bartender who tried to get me drunk so that he could get in my pants. A not even cute, skeezy, 30-something bartender who thought it was funny to convince me that he was part of the Aryan Nation when I was too drunk to know any better.

Mondays have long been my favorite night of the week to go out. I know it’s an odd night to be going out to a bar, but I think it’s because oftentimes in college, I had no classes Tuesdays or Fridays. Hence, Mondays and Thursdays became prime drinking nights. I began going into the bar every Monday, and every Monday Bartender was the only one working. Plus, since Mondays are relatively slow, there’s really no one else for him to talk to but little ol’ me.

This is how I found out all of the wonderful things about him (and by wonderful things I really mean how sexually open and fun he is). He’s a swinger. He likes sex clubs. He likes threesomes and foursomes and twentysomes. He’s not sure its possible to be 100% monogamous. These are all things that have always interested me, and when I got together with CB I was just starting to explore a lot of it and just starting to come into my own sexually. This development was cut off by CB’s jealousy and judgementalness (I totally just made that word up). Therefore, it was refreshing to hear someone talking about the things that I was interested in exploring and doing.

Now don’t get me wrong, he’s smart as hell, too. He’s witty and sharp and funny and personable. All of these things made me like him even more, but after all the sex talk that we engaged in, I wanted nothing more than to fuck the shit out of him. I never even considered the possibility of dating the guy. So two weeks after CB and I finally called it quits, I went in on a Monday night with the intention of leaving with him at closing.

And I did. I felt it was wrong to sleep with him in his bar for our first time, so instead we fucked on his friend’s couch (long story there; I’ll get into his living arrangements in another post, though I was unaware of them at the time). Usually, the sex isn’t that great the first few times with someone new. This wasn’t the case with Bartender at all. And the best part is that he loves talking dirty and calling me all kinds of deliciously raunchy things in bed. Honestly, nothing beats that. Or getting bent over a bar after hours. Or during business hours. I mean, come on. How many people can say that they got bent over their favorite bar and had the shit fucked out of them?