My Own Hands

The other night, Jesus and I had a bit of a tiff. After it was over, I immediately wanted to fuck. But he stopped me and said, “I’m sorry, but we were just fighting for 4 hours. That doesn’t exactly put me in the mood for sex.” I was flabbergasted. I was all, “But… but… but… make up sex! It’s, like the BEST. THING. IN THE HISTORY OF EVAR.”  Because seriously, WHO THE FUCK DOESN’T LIKE MAKE UP SEX? Sometimes I pick fights JUST FOR THE MAKE UP SEX. And then I was all, “But… but… but… I’m leaving for 5 days!” Because seriously, WHO THE FUCK DOESN’T WANT TO FUCK THEIR PARTNER WHEN THEY’RE ABOUT TO GO 5 DAYS WITHOUT SEEING THEM? I mean, really now.

I, of course, won, as all I had to do was change into a tight tank sans bra and he was all over it. But right as I was about to come, he came. Normally this isn’t an issue, and he finishes me off manually. But this night he passed out immediately (of course), leaving me aggravated, frustrated, and wide awake. Also, insanely horny.

So I did something I’ve never done before. I got myself off with my fingers (which I do about once a year) while he slept next to me. I know other people do it, but the effort using my fingers requires and the poutiness from being soclose and then NOT usually distract me and my mind’s not in it. It’s good to know that my fingers still work. And it was exactly what I needed to join him in slumberland.

Sometimes a girl’s gotta take matters into her own hands!