Wardrobe Malfunction: Punctuation and Feathers

One thing I really appreciate about my job is that they allow me to maintain and express my individuality. I’m allowed to have visible tattoos and piercings, dye my hair, and wear whatever I want as long as it’s within dress code. This means nothing too revealing, no jeans except for Fridays, and no flip flops. Beyond that, I can pretty much wear what I want.

My mom was here this weekend and we had a great time. She was sad that I couldn’t come home for Thanksgiving, and she really wanted to come see my apartment and help me get it a little more in order. We went to Jesus’ bar one night and played Sex and Drugs Trivia. We came in second place. My mother named our team “Pussy in Boots,” as we were both wearing boots, and then worried that no one would get the reference. I assured her that they would. She was a really good sport about it all and even stood up and waved when Jesus told the bar that his girlfriend’s mother was present. In case you were wondering, my mom is awesome.

My mother was also nice enough to take me shopping with a gift card she had received. I was able to get the dress and belt you see in these pictures, as well as this awesome jacket.

I’ve been looking for a faux-leather jacket of some sort for ages, and this one is perfect. The weather has been gorgeous, allowing me to wear thinner tights than I’ll wear once the real winter weather hits, and I wanted to have some fun with my outfit today. I woke up in a great mood, and while my morning was a bit of a mess, my day ended up being not too stressful and so I can’t really complain. Non-stressful days are few and far between at my job.

I am wearing:

  • “Vivian Dress” by Bebe
  • Feather and stone belt by Bebe
  • Black blazer from H&M
  • Punctuation tights by American Apparel
  • Black knee-high boots by Diba (purchased at DSW and in desperate need of a re-heeling)

Here’s what the dress looks like without the blazer:

I swear, I get more compliments on these tights than anything else in my closet. Please excuse the mess on top of my head. I am in desperate need of cut and color, but due to unforeseen medical expenses, I have $92 to last me the next two weeks! Therefore, I can’t afford it right now, and will be depending on headbands, clips, bobby pins, and hats to get me through the next couple weeks.

Here’s a close up of the belt, because it’s really gorgeous (click to embiggen, should you so desire).

While my mom was here, she also took me to Target to get some things for my apartment as my birthday (December 13)/holiday present. She also took me grocery shopping! My apartment is coming together, and is almost a Real Apartment now. All that I’m missing is a bedframe and a rug, and the coffee table Jesus keeps promising to bring me from his basement. I’d also like a few more things to hang on the walls, but that stuff can all wait. Once my apartment is together, I’ll post pictures for you guys, but until that happens, here’s a teaser of me on my superawesome orange couch.

I know, you’re totally jealous. I need a small throw pillow or two, but I’ll get there eventually. This couch folds down to a full-sized mattress as well, though it’s not very comfortable to sleep on. Still, it was a great deal from Target and I’m totally in love with the color. Of course, there’s already a sex juice stain on it, courtesy of my squirting all over the place during a threesome with Threesome Girl and Jesus during TG’s visit. It took all of 2 days for me to stain my nice new couch with vag juice! Anyone have any tips on how to get vag juice out of fabric, since throwing it in the wash isn’t exactly an option?

Oh, and whoever ran off with my blogging mojo? I’d really like it if you could give it back. Kthnx.

This entry was posted in Diarrhea of the Mind, I Am A Material Girl, Parental Control, Sexcapades, Wardrobe Malfunction and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  1. AuroreNo Gravatar
    Posted November 30, 2010 at 9:56 pm | Permalink

    I love your writing it’s often so incredibly thought-provoking but I always really look forward to your Wardrobe Malfunction posts. Très chic!

  2. EveyNo Gravatar
    Posted November 30, 2010 at 10:41 pm | Permalink

    Sweet!! And it’s an awesome couch.. I have the same one in black and I LOVE it!

  3. KaraNo Gravatar
    Posted November 30, 2010 at 11:55 pm | Permalink

    Britni….LOVE the jacket and those tights are soooo HOT!! Kara XOXO

    PS Jess said to try a stain remover from a pet store designed to get rid of cat/dog urine on rugs and furniture.

  4. cleofayeNo Gravatar
    Posted December 1, 2010 at 12:20 am | Permalink

    Let me let you in on the godsent that is baby wipes. Those things can get days old cum, vag juice, lube, you name it out. I have a black comforter, so everything shows on it, and baby wipes have been vital….. oh, and they’re also great if you’re a spaz like me and spill stuff on your clothes all the time.

  5. EpiphoraNo Gravatar
    Posted December 4, 2010 at 6:53 pm | Permalink

    Those tights. Kill me dead. Plus couch. oh em gee.

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