PSA: Vaginas Are Stretchy

Attention people (especially guys, because they seem to be guilty of this most often) that are grossed out by women sticking large objects in their vaginas: SHUT THE FUCK UP. Don’t be horrified by the size of the toy and please, don’t make comments about the woman getting “stretched out.” Because guess what? VAGINAS ARE STRETCHY AND ELASTIC. After a fist has been in there, it retracts back to normal very quickly. The same with a toy like Randy. Yes, the vagina will stretch and expand to take the large object. But the elasticity also means that it will shrink back again.

Also, the idea that “loose” or “large” vaginas are “gross?” Is gross. Everyone is made differently and the obsession with “tight” vaginas is something derived from our society’s obsession with virginity. Because somehow, “loose” vaginas have become equated with “loose” women, which, as we all know, are the worst kind and to be avoided at all times.

Can we just get over this stereotype and misconception? A woman can take a fist in her vagina and still have a vagina that will satisfy you and your small inadequate penis. I mean, she can push a baby out of that thing; a fist is nothing! So you and your penis need to stop with the inferiority complex and marvel at the wonderous things that vaginas can do. ‘Mkay?

This has been a public service announcement.

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  1. DuNo Gravatar
    Posted June 1, 2010 at 3:22 pm | Permalink

    Right on, B!

    What I also find intriguing is this misconception that a variety of penises (i.e. multiple partners) somehow stretches a vagina out more than sex with the same partner every day. I remember a girl in high school who had much sex with her boyfriend, but said another girl’s vagina was like a “water glass” because she slept with more than one guy. (It stuck in my head because of the girl-on-girl hate there. Yuck.)

    • Britni TheVadgeWigNo Gravatar
      Posted June 1, 2010 at 3:25 pm | Permalink

      Good point. That was what I was trying to get to with my “loose” vagina = “loose” woman thing, but never quite got there. It makes no sense that multiple penises would make someone looser than someone who fucks one penis multiple times a day or week for years!

  2. SarahbearNo Gravatar
    Posted June 1, 2010 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    Speaking of… it’s just as annoying to see people saying how loose women with multiple kids vagina’s must be (like the Duggar wife).

  3. Nell GwynneNo Gravatar
    Posted June 1, 2010 at 3:25 pm | Permalink

    Beyond the whole “EWWW That’s a big toy!” thing, I think that some (but certainly not all) men seem to have the additude that their cock is magical, and any woman who satisfies herself with anything other than their magical cock are weird/strange/an insatiable nymphomaniac/etc.


    • Britni TheVadgeWigNo Gravatar
      Posted June 1, 2010 at 3:27 pm | Permalink

      I think that part of it is an inferiority complex, as well. Like, if she likes a toy THAT big, my cock must not be big enough for her! And my cock must be the end all and be all of her sexual satisfaction!

  4. twgNo Gravatar
    Posted June 1, 2010 at 4:08 pm | Permalink

    The converse of this, to me, is the “even though I brag to my friends about the giant shits I take, I couldn’t possibly let you put your finger in there.”

    • KittieNo Gravatar
      Posted June 3, 2010 at 6:27 pm | Permalink

      You just won the internet for today. Marvel at the beautiful truth of this comment (and give up the tight-assedness, people).

  5. rebekahNo Gravatar
    Posted June 1, 2010 at 4:09 pm | Permalink

    And, upon further reflection … is it a loose vadge problem or small peen problem?

    • KittieNo Gravatar
      Posted June 3, 2010 at 6:28 pm | Permalink

      Neither. It’s a head problem in my book. :)

  6. EpiphoraNo Gravatar
    Posted June 1, 2010 at 4:51 pm | Permalink

    So you and your penis need to stop with the inferiority complex and marvel at the wonderous things that vaginas can do.

    YES. Bow down to the magical vaginas!

  7. twgNo Gravatar
    Posted June 1, 2010 at 8:46 pm | Permalink

    btw, I can’t help but think of the big vagina scene from Larry David. With the v-sign.

  8. CarynSKANo Gravatar
    Posted June 1, 2010 at 9:05 pm | Permalink

    Reminds me of a scene in Chasing Amy. Where Joey Lauren Adams explains to Ben Affleck that people have different definitions of virginity and sex, and that vaginas are stretchy! I love that scene!

    • alanaNo Gravatar
      Posted June 2, 2010 at 1:25 pm | Permalink

      That whole movie kicks major ass!

  9. figleafNo Gravatar
    Posted June 2, 2010 at 3:59 am | Permalink

    Even more eerie? When I did a really massive survey of Tumbler-style porn-photo blogs earlier this year I was reminded again that most people don’t seem to realize that women’s vulvas change when they’re aroused. Like, a lot. Like that old lyric “lips so sweet and tender / like petals falling apart.”

    A surprisingly common reaction when someone miraculously does appear to be engorged and juicy with her own actual lubrication is that she looks “stretched out.” Hello! You know how people talk about porn giving people the wrong expectations? That’s a really wrong expectation!

    BTW, I’ve got very large hands and yeah, just moments after fifteen minutes of allllmoost (did I mention I have very large hands) fisting someone she squeezed my perfectly-average-sized cock hard enough to make me jump. It felt very nice but it was also a very strong squeeze. So yeah, it’s not even like a large insertable “stretches” you even temporarily.

    Cool post, Britni!


  10. TopazNo Gravatar
    Posted June 2, 2010 at 9:16 am | Permalink

    Insecure men tend to bash that which they fear.
    What better reason to think your performance was adequate, for a ‘regular’ sized woman, lol.

  11. alanaNo Gravatar
    Posted June 2, 2010 at 1:29 pm | Permalink

    People also forget that tight vaginas can also be a bad thing. After I had my son I swear my vagina just tried to close up shop. Sometimes I feel like I am actually fighting with my vagina or trying to coax an elusive animal out of a cave or something. It’s can be a major pain in the ass.

    • twgNo Gravatar
      Posted June 2, 2010 at 3:52 pm | Permalink

      alana, totally agree. Every time I see my current boytoy, I have to get “used to sex” again, which means that we can only have maybe 1/3 of the sex we’d like to when one of us is visiting the other.

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