I’ve always known I was a little kinky. However, I never really thought that I was more than a *little* kinky. Just the “usual:” light spanking, some bondage, choking. You know, the usual. Then, as I read more and more about BDSM, I realized that I was probably more than just a *little* kinky. Maybe I was medium kinky. Stuff like flogging and paddling sounded appealing, as did more submissive behaviors involving control and such. And that was kind of where I had drawn the line.
However, now I realize that it had a lot to do with my partners. While I had partners that were into mild kink, I’d never had one that was *really* kinky. The Bruiser and I had rough sex, but there was no real kink or D/s to our dynamic, nor was he interested in exploring that. The closest I came was with The Lawyer that I had started seeing around the same time I began seeing The Bruiser. Looking back on that now, I very quickly settled into that D/s dynamic with that lawyer, and never hesitated when I was told what to wear, and received a spanking for being 3 minutes late.
And then I met Profligacy. If you couldn’t already tell from some of the posts He’s written, He is one kinky bastard. And what I’ve noticed about dating a Kinky Bastard is that it makes me one, too. Seeing His enthusiasm for things, watching how hot He gets, and seeing Him enjoy doing these things with and to me make *me* really into these things, too. I’ve done things with Him that I’d never even considered trying, and never thought I’d enjoy in the least. But the fact that He enjoys them so much and gets off on them so hard make me do the same.
For example, on our last trip, I tweeted:
That night also involved my Gigi, my Pure Wand, piss on my face, and piss in my cunt. And possibly my nipple clamps, as well. 90% of these are things that I’d probably have sworn I’d never try if you had asked me 6 months ago. Yet I loved every minute of it.
The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend that confessed his shoe fetish to me. I’m a submissive woman, and many shoe fetishists do very submissive things when worshipping shoes. But as he was telling me about how hard he got when licking the shoes, sucking the heels, and jerking off onto the shoes, I found that *I* found it hot, too. Because this guy seemes so into this situation, if he (or someone like him) was my partner, I’d be really into it, too.
It’s definitely become obvious to me that my kink is dependent on my partner. If I was to sleep with someone like The Bruiser again, my newfound kink wouldn’t translate to that sex, because our dynamic never worked that way. Yet I was fully satisfied with that dynamic and never found anything to be missing. But if it was removed from my play with Profligacy, I *would* feel like something was missing, because it *is* inherent to our dynamic.
I find it really interesting how much my sexuality and sexual preferences ebbs and flows with the partners that I have. Does anyone else have similar experiences?
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
8 Comments
I think enthusiasm is infectious – as is the desire for equality of stimulation. But, most of all, I think it is in many of us to become aroused at the prospect of fulfilling someone else's fantasies.
When Ruf told me that his dream was to be rogered by a woman, it became something that I desperately wanted to do. The fact that I made a complete mess of it and discovered that it's actually harder than I thought to thrust and work with angles, coupled with his discovery that his arse refuses to accept anything bigger than a finger rather spoiled that dream.
When he told me he wanted to piss on me, I wanted, once again, to fulfil his wishes and the whole idea took on a life of its own in terms of my arousal at the idea. Once more, the fact that the reality was rather different from the fantasy has not errr… dampened my enthusiasm for satisfying his kinkier whims
But, mostly, like you, for my own needs Im content with a bit of a paddle and some mild bondage… until one of us gets a bee in our bonnet as a result of something we've heard about on the internet.
Joanna, I love your comment in general, but I just wanted to say that I love how British you sound in it!
I had the same thought! Never has the phrase "coupled with his discovery that his arse refuses to accept anything bigger than a finger rather spoiled that dream" sounded more lovely.
I think your kink IS pleasing others, and as a result, being thought of as the hottest, freakiest chic he's ever been with. Which is why whatever they like, you can easily get into.
I relate to that a lot. Every time I would have sex with a new partner, I would think "I want this dude to be 90 years old talking to his grandson from his deathbed, saying 'Don't cry for me, my child. I lived a good life, ate good food, was a good person. And I have known many women in my time… but there was this ONE chic, BlowJoy, woooo doggie! I'll never forget her!'"
Now THAT motivates me.
Oh Brit,
I do enjoy following you and would love to join you on twitter.
Sent a request
Bishopave
You had me until speculum. lol.
No, I get it. I think with every relationship I've found myself being into their interests more than I probably would on my own.
Yes, it does depends on who you are with definitely. Which makes the whole question, "What are you into?" very difficult to answer. I am vers switch, or dom, or sub, or more normal depending on who I am with. When it comes to kinks it tends to really depend on my partner a lot more then me. My imagination always goes to wild places, but it takes the right person to make it all a reality. My current partner got me into water sports something I would never even have considered if it wasnt for her.
LMAO at you lot with my Britishness
And YES, don't we all want to be the sexy girl they're still talking about on their deathbed!
I have to admit that I got so into my own kink, that I totally forgot to mention my cringe when you mentioned the word 'speculum'.
Im sorry. Call me old-fashioned, but I just cannot envisage anything even remotely sexy about a speculum
Oh, yes, I'm the same way. I was never into piss and swore I never would be until I discovered D was into it. That is what made it extraordinarily hot to me. I sometimes miss the fantasy and play that we did revolving around piss, but I'm not really into it now.
Obviously, not everything a partner found hot would be turn me on (bestiality anyone?) but it makes a load of difference when they are but I'm (initially) not.
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