I’ve always known I was a little kinky. However, I never really thought that I was more than a *little* kinky. Just the “usual:” light spanking, some bondage, choking. You know, the usual. Then, as I read more and more about BDSM, I realized that I was probably more than just a *little* kinky. Maybe I was medium kinky. Stuff like flogging and paddling sounded appealing, as did more submissive behaviors involving control and such. And that was kind of where I had drawn the line.
However, now I realize that it had a lot to do with my partners. While I had partners that were into mild kink, I’d never had one that was *really* kinky. The Bruiser and I had rough sex, but there was no real kink or D/s to our dynamic, nor was he interested in exploring that. The closest I came was with The Lawyer that I had started seeing around the same time I began seeing The Bruiser. Looking back on that now, I very quickly settled into that D/s dynamic with that lawyer, and never hesitated when I was told what to wear, and received a spanking for being 3 minutes late.
And then I met Profligacy. If you couldn’t already tell from some of the posts He’s written, He is one kinky bastard. And what I’ve noticed about dating a Kinky Bastard is that it makes me one, too. Seeing His enthusiasm for things, watching how hot He gets, and seeing Him enjoy doing these things with and to me make *me* really into these things, too. I’ve done things with Him that I’d never even considered trying, and never thought I’d enjoy in the least. But the fact that He enjoys them so much and gets off on them so hard make me do the same.
For example, on our last trip, I tweeted:
That night also involved my Gigi, my Pure Wand, piss on my face, and piss in my cunt. And possibly my nipple clamps, as well. 90% of these are things that I’d probably have sworn I’d never try if you had asked me 6 months ago. Yet I loved every minute of it.
The other day, I was having a conversation with a friend that confessed his shoe fetish to me. I’m a submissive woman, and many shoe fetishists do very submissive things when worshipping shoes. But as he was telling me about how hard he got when licking the shoes, sucking the heels, and jerking off onto the shoes, I found that *I* found it hot, too. Because this guy seemes so into this situation, if he (or someone like him) was my partner, I’d be really into it, too.
It’s definitely become obvious to me that my kink is dependent on my partner. If I was to sleep with someone like The Bruiser again, my newfound kink wouldn’t translate to that sex, because our dynamic never worked that way. Yet I was fully satisfied with that dynamic and never found anything to be missing. But if it was removed from my play with Profligacy, I *would* feel like something was missing, because it *is* inherent to our dynamic.
I find it really interesting how much my sexuality and sexual preferences ebbs and flows with the partners that I have. Does anyone else have similar experiences?