me: i am trying to myspace stalk my newest conquest
Molls: nice
me: i know that he is friends witha mutual friend who doesnt have a private profile
me: so i am being creepy
me: though i do have this guys number, but he cant get texts and i like texts
Molls: ghey
me: this man is very hard to find
me: i do not likey
me: ha i got him
me: he had a baby picture up
me: the fucker
Molls: hahahahhahaha
me: haha although, i may have to NOT fuck that based on his about me section
me: it mentions being catholic, republican, and his relationship with god
me: also, that he looooves mccain
me: i wonder if god would want him to tie me to a bed and fuck me
me: beause i want to pull on his chest hair
Molls: nope
me: hey… i almost took him home last night
me: then his ex showed up and ruined everything
Molls: look whaat happens when god intervens
me: oh no. his groups include george strait lovers, george w. bush, and jeff gordon fans. and garth brooks’ friends in low places
me: this is amazing
Molls: oh man
me: hahahahaha
me: is it wrong that it makes me want to so much more?
me: like, i dont think i have ever done a cowboy
me: he can keep the hat on
me: and use his lasso to tie me into fun positions. i KNEW he would be down for tying me up!
me: plus, i could check “cowboy” off my list of kinds of people to do
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
2 Comments
See, I just don't fuck republicans. Or, failing that, no social conservatives, at least.
I would also argue that Kenny Chesney, who wrote the titular song … well, the tractor would be the ONLY thing about him that ever, ever could be sexy, as he is gross.
At least you're working on "y'all". Gotta speak cowboy if you're going to do cowboy!