I have completely different sex with men than I have with women. While I enjoy sleeping with both sexes, the experiences are completely different for me. I tend to have much more sex with men than I do with women (I’ve been with about 1/3 the number of woman as I have men (did that statement make any grammatical sense at all?)), but that boils down to a) there are more straight people than gay people, b) I tend to look too straight for most lesbians, and c) it is just easier to find men to sleep with than it is to find women to sleep with.

My sex with men tends to be rough and raw. There is an animalistic passion, and I like to just be fucked and taken and dominated. There is something primal about sleeping with a man. It is dirty and sweaty and hard. There is grabbing and pulling and thrusting and smacking. Sex with men is exhausting and I often just collapse in a heap when it is all over. There are sessions, and while there can be several sessions in one day, there is a finite starting and ending point with a man (and it isn’t always about when he gets off. There is only so much sex I can take before I dry up and/or begin to chafe). There is a power struggle in the sexual act, and oftentimes I relinquish my power.

With women, my sex tends to be soft and gentle. It is beautiful and sensual and it is a different kind of passion than I experience with men. There is more time taken exploring bodies and sensations. I spend more time looking and touching and appreciating. I could have sex with a woman for hours. One session could last an entire day, and no matter how many orgasms I have had, I can always have more. The sex is more reciprocal. It is sex among equals, and the power struggle is not there, regardless of whether one of us is topping and one of us is bottoming.

When I have sex with both a man and a woman at the same time, it creates an interesting dynamic. I find that I am more interested in being with the woman than in being with the man. If he wants to fuck me from behind while I am tending to her, or stick his dick in one of our mouths while we play with each other, that is fine. But my main priority is her. He will get off no matter what. In my mind, I kind of toss the man to the side and let him do his thing. The main action is occurring between me and the other woman. The man is just an afterthought, a spectator who may get lucky enough to join in the fun if he can wait his turn long enough.

And, especially if the man is my boyfriend, this can make him feel left out. In his mind, he probably envisions the threesome as two women who are falling all over themselves to please him and want to do nothing but make him happy. Two mouths on his cock, one mouth on his cock and one on his balls, one girl riding his cock and another sucking his balls. But it doesn’t usually happen like that. I can fuck my boyfriend whenever I want. Sex with a woman is a treat that I don’t often get to indulge in, and when I do, I make the most of it.

So any guy that I date has to be okay with being the outsider looking in. He has to get off on watching me get another girl off, on watching someone else get me off. If he gets greedy and thinks that the entire threesome is going to be about him, then it isn’t going to work. But if he plays his cards right and waits his turn, I will always make sure that he gets his. In a very big way.