Size Queen

Penises (though I still think it should be “penii”) come in many shapes and sizes. So do vaginas. I firmly believe that for every woman who thinks a certain man is too small, there exists a woman with a smaller vagina who would find him to be just perfect. And, of course, for every woman who thinks that a certain man is too big, there is surely a woman out there with a larger vagina who would absolutely love to have him fill her up.

I, personally, think there is such a thing as too big. And while I have been with men who I have felt were too small, it never really bothered me (my concern there is usually the thought that if I can’t feel him, maybe he can’t feel anything, either. And then I start with the “Oh, shit, I hope I don’t feel like he’s throwing a hot dog down a hallway! That would SUCK”). As long as a guy knows how to use his cock, it doesn’t really matter what size it is. I would take an average sized cock attached to an attentive man who knew how to use it over 8+ inches any day.
I can definitely do without men of the “the man, the myth, the legend” stature. Honestly, it just fucking hurts. Lots of lube, lots of arousal, and lots of desire doesn’t change the fact that my vagina is not a gaping hole. Something with the same girth as a soda can is just not my cuppa tea. There is a time and a place for things like that, but that place just is not my vagina.
And the men that I have known and been with that possess extremely large appendages have disliked them more than bragged about them. One would say that his friends all thought that he must be really small because he refused to talk about his dick. But the truth was, he knew that he hurt a lot of the women that he was with, and he also had issues getting/keeping it up sometimes because a penis that large requires more blood flow to the area to keep it erect.
Another guy (who was so big that he would roll over in bed and his penis would actually make an audible “thud” when landing on my stomach) said he would love to be a little bit smaller, as it would make having sex so much easier. He always said that watching a girl wince in pain is not really a turn on for him, and the struggle to get it in was never much fun.
So, while there are plenty of size queens out there, I am not one of them. So guys, don’t fret if you aren’t hung like Ron Jeremy, because most of us prefer that you aren’t.
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  1. Molls
    Posted August 25, 2008 at 7:56 am | Permalink

    Most guys with huge dicks that I know complain their sex lives are made more difficult by them. Girls seeing it and running away. Not ever getting the whole thing in. Etc. Etc.

    I def tend to prefer them on the larger side, but I agree that huge is just horrible. Average (for *ahem* a black guy) is usually about good for me.

    So I had a date on Sat with a guy I've been talking to. And we had previously had a discussion about the size of his dick, when I jokingly asked if it was big and he responded it was "average."

    I'm not sure who this dude was comparing himself to to consider himself average (apparently he's sharing a locker room with Shaq and Ron Jeremy) but this was the biggest fucking dick I have ever seen (including porn). It is literally the size of my forearm. I'm going to measure, because it has to be 10 inches at least.

    I have no idea what the fuck I'm going to do with that. I couldn't get it all in my mouth (disappointing for me). I'm not going to be able to walk for a month after we fuck. And anal is totally out of the question.

  2. Britni TheVadgeWig
    Posted August 25, 2008 at 11:39 am | Permalink

    I hooked up with a guy who is 6'7 and i kind of hoped his dick would be proportionate, just because it would be like a mutant penis. But alas, it was not, and not very nice to look at even. Blah.

  3. Chica
    Posted August 26, 2008 at 6:13 am | Permalink

    I think when we find the right guy (with a fitting penis) it's easy to forget what a nightmare it can be coming across an unfortunately sized penis. But I'm hearin' it!

    And Britni I am a fan of your blog, that photo with you and the sex toys is ace.

    x chica

  4. Britni TheVadgeWig
    Posted August 26, 2008 at 10:27 am | Permalink

    Thanks, Chica! I took that picture when I was bored at work (my old job) one day.

  5. Pronto
    Posted August 27, 2008 at 10:06 am | Permalink

    LOL – awesome photo !!!

    What kind of job keeps that kind of 'equipment' laying around??

  6. Britni TheVadgeWig
    Posted August 27, 2008 at 11:11 am | Permalink

    Pronto: Sales associate/manager of an adult toy store. I'm actually in the process of writing a really long post about that, so the details will all be filled in.

  7. Pronto
    Posted August 27, 2008 at 11:38 am | Permalink

    I see,

    and, look forward to the post.

    I imagine the job had a few interesting 'perks'….. ;-)

  8. twg
    Posted August 27, 2008 at 12:06 pm | Permalink

    I like to call myself an "average queen." If tab A is too big, it will just not fit into slot B, slot B being my vag:)

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