Whatever Helps You Sleep At Night

My 26-year-old gay boy (who likes to think that 26 is so old and being single at 26 means that he is an old maid) has starting fucking his 19-year-old “straight” neighbor. Gay Boy claims it is the best. sex. he’s ever. had. But, don’t forget that the kid is “straight.”

The best part about the fact that this kid is “straight” are his reasons why he is not gay. “I’m not gay, I’m just attracted to guys” was the first one. Right. But the next one is even better. It’s kind of along the same lines as if you fuck someone in the ass, you’re straight but if you take it in the ass, you’re gay. Or, “He just sucked MY dick, I didn’t suck his!”

The kid claims that he is not gay because he “doesn’t swallow.” This is my new favorite excuse ever. I am going to use it to justify the fact that I have decided that I am a lesbian. What? As long as I don’t swallow, I’m not straight. See? Doesn’t that make total sense?

It’s totally like those girls that will take it in the ass but not the vagina, and claim to still be virgins. Because the ass doesn’t count. Get it? Because it’s not their vagina. Their vagina is for their husbands. Their ass is for everyone else. See? Virgin. It is always amusing as to how people rationalize their behavior to make it acceptable in their own minds.

I am now going to fuck as many guys as I want, suck tons of dick, yet to continue to maintain the fact that I am a lesbian because I “didn’t swallow.” Though, does the fact that I do, in fact, swallow mean that this might not work out so well for me?

Oh, well.

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One Comment

  1. twg
    Posted July 16, 2008 at 11:34 am | Permalink

    If a guy doesn't ever come while you're fucking, does that mean you've never had sex? Does it also mean that he's gay? How does all this work now?

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