I was set up on a blind date last week and have been out with the guy a few times now. I like him, and we are taking things slowly. He is the most beautiful specimen that I have ever seen. Like, ever. He is the kind of guy I would never go for, 1) because I would never think that I had chance and 2) because I usually have a pretty good read on guys who would consider me their “type” and I would never peg him as one of those guys.
When he walked in for our date, all I could think was, “Oh, he is going to be so disappointed when he sees that I am his date.” He is just too beautiful. And you know guys that are so beautiful are supposed to have some physical flaw? Like a small penis? Or erectile dysfunction? SOMETHING?? This one hasn’t gotta thing I can find yet. Sigh. I now understand why I always date guys who are not as cute as me; the hot ones make me feel all inadequate and shit.
He is very, very shy, but soooo aggressive in bed. This is perfect for me, who is very, very aggressive in life but soooooo shy in bed (it’s really more submission, but guys who aren’t familiar with it can mistake it for shyness). So, um, the sex fucking rocks. His penis is big, he talks dirty to me, he sticks fingers in my ass while I’m riding him, and he wants it like 3 times a night. And he gets me off. So, um, yeah.
Anywho, he is so beautiful that he is being auctioned off as a “dream date” for the Make-A-Wish Foundation this weekend. Le sigh. Can you guess which lucky “bachelor” is my new friend?
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
4 Comments
Is it the guy with the bad fake tan and the loud shirt?
You wish it was that one. It would make my pictures much more interesting. And rough on the eyes.
But… I didn't even notice that he wants to meet ARISTOTLE. Is that supposed to make him deep?
THE TELEVISION CHARACTER I LOOK LIKE IS UMA THURMAN!