Lately, Jesus and I have not had much sex. This is in no way his choice. My sex drive has just completely disappeared. Our desire discrepancy can really take a toll on our relationship. He becomes frustrated and often resentful, which is not how he wants to feel. He knows that I’m not choosing to have zero sex drive, and feels badly about it. I begin to feel guilty or like I’m a disappointment as a partner because I know I’m not satisfying my partner’s desires. He never makes me feel guilty, and I couldn’t ask for him to be more tolerant or understanding.
Finally, out of desperation to please him on my part and a desperation to get off on his, we found something that works for us. Jesus is really into calling phone sex lines. He began calling them when he was in an unhappy place in a previous relationship, and it’s something that he’s continued to do from time to time. And so I encourage him to call them with me. Sometimes I’ll blow him while he calls the phone lines. Sometimes I’ll just sit back and watch him jerk off on the phone. Sometimes he’ll put porn on while this happens, too.
While we still want to be having more sex with each other, this solution is working out well for both of us. He gets off and I get to be involved in that process. We’re also looking into finding a female to come play with us, or just with Jesus while I watch. I’m super excited about the idea, and I’m hopeful that the experience will reignite a spark of some kind into my desire for sex. Until then, we’ll keep finding ways to satisfy him that don’t involve me feeling like I have to give in and have sex when I’m not really feeling it, which is something that neither of us wants.