Indecisive Girl is Indecisive

I am the most indecisive person ever. It’s terrible. One of the things I liked best about my relationship with Profligacy is that I didn’t have to make decisions. He picked where we went, what I ordered, and sometimes what I wore. Life was much easier then. My everyday life consists of me failing to make decisions about mundane things and ending up with no outcome at all. I don’t have difficulty making big, important decisions. It’s the little ones that I have trouble with.

For instance, I never know what I want to eat. I’ve walked past 17 restaurants and eaten in none, because I don’t know which one to choose. I used to drive around for upwards of 45 minutes, be unable to decide where I wanted to eat, and then drive home, having eaten nothing. If I can decide where I want to eat but the menu is very expansive, I can’t decide what to order. I will stare at the menu forever, and not be able to decide what I want. I cannot rent a movie. Too many options. I usually walk out empty handed. I will not decide what we’re going to do tonight. My response is usually, “You pick, I don’t care.”

However… that “I don’t care” is a tricky one. Because if I *don’t* want to do something that you suggest, I will tell you. I could turn down 5 suggestions, yet still be unable to come up with one of my own. I don’t know what I want, but I know I don’t want that. And it’s frustrating. I’ll stomp my feet and pout and whine, “I just don’t know!” Real mature, I know, but I’m difficult like that. I have to date decisive people that are good at making plans. Otherwise, I’d never leave the house.

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  1. ElodieNo Gravatar
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 12:06 am | Permalink

    I’m a lot like this — though if K tried to actually order for me he’d probably end up with a plate of spaghetti on his head. Sometimes I just have to close my eyes and point and go with it.

  2. adrianaNo Gravatar
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 12:10 am | Permalink

    ” I don’t know what I want, but I know I don’t want that. ”

    I know this all too well

  3. SaNo Gravatar
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 12:11 am | Permalink

    that sounds really complicated. I can’t even imagine what would help that. Maybe writing a program in advance for the week?Not really your style though. Congrats on your job by the way, that is such great news!

  4. EvaNo Gravatar
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 6:20 am | Permalink

    I’m just the same, it’s very annoying. Especially not being able to pick out what I want to eat is very tiring. I think when I get very hungry, my ability to choose is even worse as well, maybe because the brain is more scattered when it’s tired. Often I’ve given up selecting what to eat and just not had anything, even though I’m really fucking hungry.
    I think I’m a bit of a perfectionist sometimes as well, and it really bothers me when there’s not a perfect option to go for. I agree that bigger things in life are easier to choose, maybe because it’s more clear what’s The Perfect Choice. I think making A Choice, any choice, and letting go of the feeling that it’s important what one chooses(when it comes down to very mundane things), is something worth training oneself in. Being indecisive wastes a lot of time and energy.

    • Outspoken CliticNo Gravatar
      Posted August 20, 2010 at 6:45 pm | Permalink

      Oh my god, when I’m hungry, my decision-making ability goes to ZERO.

  5. Outspoken CliticNo Gravatar
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 8:01 am | Permalink

    OK, this is me, too! My ex was like this as well, so we’d stand around going “where do you want to eat? I don’t care, you pick” for like HOURS.

  6. SapioSlutNo Gravatar
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 8:48 am | Permalink

    Not sure if I should leave a comment or not…

  7. alanaNo Gravatar
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 12:50 pm | Permalink

    I used to think I was indecisive, but really I’m just laid back. I genuinely don’t care what we eat or where we go most of the time. I’ve learned that if I don’t make the plans and call everyone though, then nothing will ever happen. (Plans don’t just magically fall out of the sky.) The only thing I am kind of weird about is that I need to know what Ryan is ordering at a restaurant before I can commit to my choice. I don’t know why, but sometimes his choice sways my choice. (Like, “chicken does sound good!” lol) And since Ryan is so laid back I never have to pout.

    What I’m really bad about is doing anything like calling the doctor or our landlord. I have no idea why, but I avoid those responsibilities like the plague.

  8. twgNo Gravatar
    Posted August 20, 2010 at 5:28 pm | Permalink

    alana, my mom does that and now we all refuse to tell her. I also don’t know why it annoys me. Sometimes I also like to jump the gun and ask her first to mess with her. :)

    • alanaNo Gravatar
      Posted August 22, 2010 at 12:34 am | Permalink

      haha that’s horrible but hilarious at the same time! Sometimes my boyfriend will refuse to tell me what he’s ordering too, but he hasn’t turned it around on me yet (at least not before I ask him). It’s only a matter of time I suppose. lol

  9. twgNo Gravatar
    Posted August 21, 2010 at 7:44 am | Permalink

    Alternately, I like to lie about what I’m ordering. Some things you can only get away with with your mother, I s’pose. :)

  10. SatNo Gravatar
    Posted August 21, 2010 at 5:15 pm | Permalink

    I have the same problem. It drives my boyfriend nuts; he’d like me to pick more often. Also, sometimes, I decide on something and then if he asks, I don’t want to tell him, like it embarrasses me: take yesterday.
    He’s teaching me how to drive and I moved to the left line on an intersection, because I felt like turning. He asked why I’d driven there, because it takes so much longer to get through if we have to wait for all the rest to turn, and I mumbled stuff for a minute or two before I told him I just wanted to turn left and not just go forward. Then he was like oh, okay, should’ve told me.
    I’m ridiculous, I know.

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