Drunk Texting With Jess Manifesto

It’s time for another edition of “Drunk Texting With Jess Manifesto!”

Jess: Britni I amb drunk!

Jess: You’re in bostjb and I’m healids,

Jess: I rink your suuukd come to Chicago and Feyn drunk with mr!

Me: Yes!

Jess: Whynbbin the var jerked off

Jess: Omg there do hot!

Me: Who’s hot?

Jess: Joghus

Jess: I DVDs suck his beard

Me: Suck his beard!

Jess: Fuchs yeah!

(At this point, I stopped responding because I was having sex.)

Jess: His beard loookns lien a mangy la unicorn mane.

Jess: Angels weeeeel at the sibyl of hsi beard.

Jess: Bbbbbbeeeeaaaaattrrrddddd!

Jess: Britni I Libby you!

Jess: Best interswev pals for life

Jess: I wannna she f you cookies

My date and I had a very good time reading those this morning. His response? “What the hell is a ‘mangy unicorn mane’?” I also got this on my Facebook wall this morning:

I’m totally going to take her up on the cookie offer.

This has been “Drunk Texting With Jess Manifesto.”

This entry was posted in Self Medication, With A Little Help From My Friends and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  1. SamanthaNo Gravatar
    Posted August 18, 2010 at 1:14 pm | Permalink

    These just never get old to read…

  2. Jess ManifestoNo Gravatar
    Posted August 18, 2010 at 1:30 pm | Permalink

    Haha, I think that means “Magical unicorn mane”.

    Send me your address and I will cookie the fuck out of you!

  3. Outspoken CliticNo Gravatar
    Posted August 18, 2010 at 2:04 pm | Permalink

    Love it. Keep ‘em coming!

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