My friend sent me the most glorious site I have ever had the pleasure of stumbling across on the internet. Erotic fantasies about Tonya Harding. Yes, THAT Tonya Harding.
Also, this Tonya Harding.
And this Tonya Harding.
So. These dudes really love Tonya Harding. So much that they write slash fiction about her. And you know you want to read some of it, don’t you? Of course you do!
This first guy is pretty obsessed with the size of his cock. Though I don’t think he mentions that he’s packing heat quite often enough. What do you think?
“OH MY GOD!”, she exclaimed. I admitted that I had seen her wedding video and had figured she would be impressed by my size. Her response: “Jeff’s cock was long but thin as a pencil. I’m much more turned on by a thick cock.”
After a marathon suck session, she asked me to enter her from the missionary position. Despite the fact that she was extra lubricated, she had trouble taking my thick cock.
This was a common problem that comes with the territory of having a thick member. In fact, I would easily trade an inch of my width for an extra inch in length!
She asked me to go more slowly because of my size.
When we were done, Tonya took a picture of my half hard cock with her cell phone and said she would be masturbating to it for the rest of her life.
Tonya went on for quite some time about the size of my second load saying it was twice as big as most guys’ first load.
How much do you wanna bet that the guy that wrote this has a really small dick?
This next guy titled his story the grammatically correct “The Boxing.” It is about boxing.
She thanked me for giving her a much better workout than the “limp dick” whom I had replaced. She asked if I was too tired to “get it up.” As encouragement, she removed her tight halter top revealing her huge breasts. My cock immediately sprang to attention. [...] After only about three minutes of this, she flexed her biceps. That was it! I exploded a huge load right there in her pussy, grunting and shouting like I never had before.
That story also involved arm wrestling. Tonya won both the boxing match and the arm wrestling match with those huge biceps, obvi.
This hockey player does nothing to disprove the argument that all that fighting could have a negative effect on brain function.
As a hockey player I’ve always had a thing for hard fucking ice skaters. I esseecially like there strong feet. Taking them out of there skates and putting them sweet little toes into my mouth. Tony’s sexy strong feet all red from the skates and smelling of sweat would get my cock hard emieately. While I sucked on her toes Tonya could strike my cock and play with her pussy. Once she was on her back and me ontop of her I would play with her pussy with my cock.
Spelling is clearly not his forte.
And this guy just flat out plagerized!
My sweet little whorish Tonya, I did as you told me, you dirty little girl, and pulled myself off twice when I read your letter. I was delighted to see that you do like being fucked arseways. Yes, now I can remember that night when I fucked you for so long backwards. It was the dirtiest fucking I ever gave you, darling. My prick was stuck in you for hours, fucking in and out under your upturned rump. I felt your fat sweaty buttocks under my belly and saw your flushed face and mad eyes. At every fuck I gave you your shameless tongue came bursting out through your lips and if a gave you a bigger stronger fuck than usual, fat dirty farts came spluttering out of your backside. You had an arse full of farts that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks and a lot of tiny little naughty farties ending in a long gush from your hole. It is wonderful to fuck a farting woman when every fuck drives one out of her. I think I would know your fart anywhere. I think I could pick yours out in a roomful of farting women. It is a rather girlish noise not like the wet windy fart which I imagine fat wives have. It is sudden and dry and dirty like what a bold girl would let off in fun in a school dormitory at night. I hope you will let off no end of your farts in my face.
James Joyce would not approve of you trying to pass off his erotic letters as your own, dude.
At least this one has a sense of humor about it all.
I go over to Tonya’s trailer at dusk for a romantic dinner. As I approach her Rockford Files-esque trailer, I can see her through the tattered screen door. She is wearing an oversized tweety bird t-shirt and faded glory jeans fashioned as cutoffs so short that the white of the pockets shows by roughly two inches.
I knock on the screen door – it makes successive thuds as the warped wood bounces back with each pound of the fist. Tanya yells for me to come inside. I find her in the multipurpose kitchen/living room/bedroom preparing shrimp flavored ramen noodles on a hot plate.
There are thousands more where these came from. And, even more awesomely, there is a “Rejected Fantasies” section. Some of the rejected fantasies have been deleted by the webmaster for being “crude, disgusting, juvenile, boring, [or] dumb.” I don’t know what those must have entailed for the webmaster to reject them, considering what *did* get approved, but I digress. Some are just bad.
my fantasy would be tonya & me on a island where she & I making out on the desert island tonya butt naked with that round juicy ass of hers saying to oh yes oh yes give it to me hard . I’m saying give it to tonya come on
Can’t imagine why that one was rejected.
DEAR TONYA THE FAULT LIES ENTIRLEY WITH YOUR EX-HUSBAND I NEVER PUT ANY BLAME ON YOU I COULD SEE YOU WERE JUST AS SHOCKED AS THE REST OF US THE POLICE BLAMED YOU BECAUSE YOUR EX DID IT TO YOU AGIAN YOU HAVE MY RESPECT AND FRIENDSHIP MARK H. WYLIE
Well, that’s not erotic at all!
This one is fascinating. Also, involves fantastic spelling.
while waitiing in line at the movie plex the sexest young lady walks up and ask what i would recomand. to my supprise it is none other then tonya harding. itell her that there is a good romance playing and that i would be glad to get her a ticket if she wants. tonya says sure after buying the tickets we go in and i offer to get her a snack and drink she allows me to buy her some and then takes a seat at the back of the room. i come and sit by her. at the half way point i look over and notice she is getting turned on. i ask if there is anything i can get her she replys yes and ask me if i would be wiling to eather do her oraly or go all out and fuck her i tell her i would lver to do both. i quickly undo her jeans and slide them and her thong down and start eating her hot shaven pussy. in just minutes she has an explosive orgasum. i lick her clean and then grab her and pull her to the floor where i slide my cock deep in her.
But not as fantastic as the spelling in this one:
i meet tonya at a dark nice restrunt she be wearing a very short black mini skirt with garter belt and blackstay up stockings high heels open toe no pantys on no bra on her we have few drinks be fore dinner tonya took off one off her high heels open toe shose put her stocking foot between my legs and pushing it hard against my hard cockthen i went under the table took of her other shoe pushed her mini skirt up throw her kegs over my shoulders grab her ass cheeks started to eat tonya cunt .
It actually got worse from there.
Thank you, Tonya Harding fantasies, for existing and making my night all the more awesome.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
12 Comments
That last one is epic. But that whole site is epic. I feel sad for Tonya that some perv owns that domain name.
I feel sad for these people! Seriously, this is some of the most unimaginative and poorly written shit I have ever read :s
That has got to be the most awesome/disturbing thing I’ve seen in a while. I wonder if any of these guys have Tonya Harding roleplay with their partners. I wonder if they have some weird sexual hate thing about Nancy Kerrigan…
That shit is hilarious.
Also, I must admit, I find James Joyce’s affinity for his wife’s farts adorable and kind of sweet.
Wow. This only proves that Rule #1 (or is it 34) is totally true.
Which also means that there is also probably a site dedicated to combined toaster/unicorn porn.
When did guys (ostensibly!) start using the ee.cummings style of writing. That’s far from hetero you know. And equally disturbing. Never found Tonya hot, well maybe in a bad girl kind of way, but the site seems like a great idea! And hi Britni.
Yeah, you can totally tell someone is gay by the way they write. HEY MEN: MAKE SURE YOUR WRITING ISN’T TOO GHEY.
“When did guys start using the E.E. Cummings style of writing?”
..Well done for making a point that entirely defeats itself in the first sentence.
ladies, both emma and britni. ee did pen, and sign much of his work in lowercase. emma, if you grew up in the late 1960′s, early 1970′s, when you had to read this stuff, along with the multitude of daisy covered pink background posters that abounded in classrooms in every public school in the country, you too, would have flashbacks. said flashbacks would be.. well flashbacks.
ee did obey punctuation rules, and had talent. he also was very satirical, a point lost on emma. i’m out of space(reply wise) love you ladies. rob, i hate omg, wtf, bff also. but i’ve rambled.
My, my, I wonder if these me want to have fantasies about her while she is on the Smoking Gun episodes. The way the men wrote the fantasies, I am surprised they were coherent to get their ‘fantasies’ out into the internet for everyone to read.
Slash fiction is same-sex pairings. These dudes are just writing fanfiction, specifically real person fanfiction.
OMG, don’t judge me.
what rong with those storys I think they hot.
You lezbeans dont now what good sex is.