Product Review: Better Than Chocolate


I hate chocolate. In fact, it’s one of my least favorite foods (the other two being tomatoes and coconut). Therefore, in order for something to be “better than chocolate,” it really wouldn’t have to be all that great. Some things that I would consider better than chocolate include: stale pretzels, ice cold showers, sitting through the 2+ hours of romcom hell known as Valentine’s Day, babysitting a screaming toddler, listening to Kim Zolciak’s song “Tardy for the Party” on repeat, and drinking Coors Light from a can. The Better Than Chocolate vibe really didn’t have to be *that* good in order to be “better than chocolate.” So, in that respect, did it live up to it’s name? Sure. Does that mean that it’s a great toy? Notsomuch.

There are a lot of things to like about the BTC. The packaging is pretty. The toy itself is pretty. It’s whisper quiet. It’s waterproof and can be submerged. It’s made from non-porus, silky smooth, phthalate-free TPR. It’s discreet and small, and doesn’t really look like a vibrator. There seem to be (we’ll get to this later) many different vibration speeds and patterns. It’s easy to clean. You can use silicone or water-based lube with it.

Okay, now that we’ve gotten the positives out of the way, let’s talk about all the reasons that I didn’t like the BTC. Strap yourself in, because there are plenty of them.
  1. The design. It’s supposed to fit to the female anatomy, with a curve that should fit snuggly against the vulva and mons. Okay, so it does. But the part that is supposed to stimulate the clit, it doesn’t. I don’t know if it doesn’t fit my anatomy, or it’s just is a better design in theory than it is in practice, but it just feels like mild vibrations on my crotch, with no direct stimulation to any specific part of me.

  2. The controls. The controls are shit. Seriously, shit. The toy is easy enough to turn on and off, as there is a power button. However, controlling the speed and power of the vibrations is impossible. There is a touch-sensitive control strip that works via sliding your finger up or down the strip, or pushing on the top or bottom. However, sometimes it’s too sensitive and the toy changes speed or pattern when you don’t want it to. Other times, it’s not sensitive enough, and getting the toy to change is impossible.

    The controls are also confusing enough that I need to look at the owner’s manual in order to figure them out. Sliding your finger up and down the control strip makes the vibrations stronger or weaker. Holding the NT symbol at the top of the strip for 2 seconds changes the pattern, while holding the bottom of the strip locks the pattern/speed in place. Unlocking works the same way. At least, this is how it should work in theory. The video below is a demonstration of the toy in use:

  3. The strength. Two AAA batteries will never provide much strength in a toy. Ever. The BTC is no different. Unless you really like very gentle, mild vibrations, this toy will not be enough for you. A standard bullet is stronger than the BTC. Hell, my cell phone is stronger than the BTC.
  4. The price. For a vibrator that’s hard to control and not very strong, it’s not worth the high price tag. If I’m paying $80 for a toy, it’d better be freaking good. And this is a toy that’s great in theory but sucky in practice.

I appreciate Eden Fantasys sending me this toy to review free of charge, and it’s unfortunate that it didn’t live up to expectations. So, sure, this toy is better than chocolate. However, I hate chocolate, so that’s not exactly saying much.

product picture
Better than chocolate
Clitoral vibrator by Nomi Tang
Material: Non-porous TPR
Safety:
$80.00
Buy from EdenFantasys
Rating:
Vroom:
Bee:
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer.

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5 Comments

  1. JonsBabydoll
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 3:29 pm | Permalink

    I've heard a lot of the same things about the finicky control panel. It does have a really great premise behind it, I hope that it is redone with all of the cons taken into consideration.

    I would think that it would work really well if it was rechargeable like Lelo toys are.

  2. Dangerous Lilly
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 3:49 pm | Permalink

    Actually I gotta disagree with you on one point – it's not the batteries, it's the motor. I have a couple of toys that run on 2 AAA batteries that are good enough to get me off. I think my DJ Harmony Bullet is just 2 AAA and it's pretty strong for a bullet vibe.

    So what justifies the $80 pricetag? Is it just that touch-control strip? If so…rip off.

    If you're going to use a gimmick and name a toy "Better than Chocolate"? You'd do well to make it more likely to work with most women's bodies than this design.

  3. sarahbear
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 5:47 pm | Permalink

    You have such a sweet, sing-song voice. I really wasn't expecting it. =p

    I'm still on the fence about this toy because I don't need pinpoint and I'm thinking this might work well for me. Maybe I'll enter a few more contests for it or something.

  4. Alley
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 7:18 pm | Permalink

    I have the same issues with the control panel. It seems to be so sensitive that just accidentally touching it will make it change (which, I suppose, is why there is a lock feature…that I can never get unlocked). OR I can't get the damn vibrations to change at all.

    I am wondering if mine is just odd because it is kind of loud…maybe I am comparing it to my quiet toys that are just really really quiet. Not sure. I am glad to see I am not the only one who hated the stupid control panel, I would rather buttons and $40 off the selling price.

  5. Epiphora
    Posted February 13, 2010 at 7:41 pm | Permalink

    "Hell, my cell phone is stronger than the BTC." LOLOLOL and so true.

    Yeah. The control strip needs some work. Well… the whole toy needs a lot of work.

One Trackback

  1. By Vibrator Review: Nomi Tang’s Better than Chocolate « Wanton Lotus Reviews on May 3, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    [...] and the innovative control strip used to set the vibration pattern. Unlike other reviewers I was able to get off with it and therefore it has strong enough vibrations for me, but being able to get off with it is only one [...]

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