The Devil’s Waterpik

Sex, for me, is SO NOT about getting off. When I masturbate I typically like to extend it out as long as possible, hours most often. I find that the resulting orgasm is much more pleasurable and the long ride there quite satisfying.

The same goes for sex with another individual. My satisfaction is not about getting a nut and rolling over, although that can have its place after a long day. Sex with a lover, to me, is more about feeling like I am making someone else feel good at the same time. I want to feel like the fucking Man! Call it a head game, ego trip, what have you, but I want to make a woman come and have her look up at me like I am some sort of damn magician. That is what gets me off beyond belief. That is what makes me want to get up and cook her breakfast in bed the next day. If I get a call the next day, from my already horny lover, telling me she cannot stop thinking about last night and that I am unforgettable and impossible to replace I feel valued, I might even change religions, if I had one of course.

Chemistry is an amazing thing and I truly believe there is someone for everyone. I have had bad sexual relationships with women who have moved on to other man and suddenly blossomed sexually. It wasn’t me, but for her, it was just not me that hit the right buttons. Of course it was almost always mutual, either her moans or gasps did not really match what was going on at the moment, or the reflexive responses between us never really created any sort of chain reaction that resulted in really hot sex for both of us. I wish I had the time back I spent on relationships after first realizing this. I don’t regret the following time spent, but at this point in my life I know what I want and I wish I had stayed true to myself. The compounded interest from such a good investment would be in the millions by now.

I say all this to make the point that if I don’t think my lover is having a good time my own performance suffers. I am no longer in the moment and begin to think more about what I am doing than reacting naturally. This is a buzz killer and erection killer too. Squirting is a pretty sure fire way to show you are having a good time, when it is happening. It is visual, tactile and obvious. After a sudden body temperature stream of fluid drenches your pubic bone, like the devil’s waterpik, the question “Did you come?” is more of a funny anecdote rather than an insecure question for validation.

The first time I was with a woman who squirted noticeably we totally wet her bed, the mattress, some of the carpet and our clothes. It was fucking hot. It was a mess. I felt so fulfilled. She apologized and did not seem to want to acknowledge the melee, like it was a handicap that I had tolerated. I reassured her, but you know I never felt like she was totally ok with it. It happened most times we had sex. Usually, I controlled her orgasm until I knew she was at the boiling point, then old faithful would erupt. Her failure to be comfortable with it did diminish it for me, however. How could she fail to recognize the aqua validation my fragile male ego so desperately desired?

My shameless whore is another story, as you can very well see. She is quite comfortable with her body and continues to be more so all the time. Yes, she squirts, and to a degree I have never seen, and is in control of it. She is quite amazing actually. We have played with this skill and the myriad of fantasies and scenes that have been, and will be created, from this additional toy in our box of pleasure certainly is a plus. It need not happen every time. I have told her that she is the best lover I have ever had. It is true and I don’t say that because of the gushing. With or without squirting, our sex is beyond my wildest dreams. But the times I am filling her and we are both lost in each other, and Us, effortlessly, and I feel hot laser-like streams of fluid painting my genitals, I find it very hard not to follow suit.

This entry was posted in Sex Miscellany and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.


  1. longingsend
    Posted November 28, 2009 at 2:04 am | Permalink

    I am not a squirter, but to ask me if I came is not needed. If your fingers, cock, or a toy you are holding is inserted inside me, there is NO mistaking that I came. My muscles are strong and contract very tightly. There is no doubt I have cum. Which makes faking with a partner impossible once they know how I cum. :)

    xo mina

  2. April
    Posted November 28, 2009 at 1:26 pm | Permalink

    That's a very good perspective on why you like a woman who squirts, as asked on the Toy With Me blog.

    I am not a squirter but I really want to see if my body is capable of doing so. I've tried the Pure Wand, but it just doesn't work. I do get VERY wet when I orgasm, but I don't squirt.

    Thanks for describing why you like it. I just hope that the Kinky Jew reads this and stops asking, Dear God WHY?.

  3. Sa
    Posted November 29, 2009 at 4:23 am | Permalink

    Very interesting. I always enjoy reading your writing, Profligacy. I was wondering if you were ever mentored by someone as regards D/s, since most Doms I have talked to tell me they met older submissive women before they go into a D/s lifestyle. I hope this won't strike you as a rude question.

  4. Profligacy
    Posted November 29, 2009 at 5:13 pm | Permalink

    Sa, Curious question, but no I never had the benefit of mentoring from an older sub. Although I have had much older lovers there was no D/s component. My introduction was from a woman my own age who had a rape fantasy. Once I understood the premise I quickly realized I had found my niche. After that I read a lot and had some very understanding, and patient subs that truly enjoyed exploring with me.

Post a Comment

Your email is never published nor shared. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Subscribe without commenting

  • This site contains adult content and is not intended for anyone under the age of 18. Under 18? Click here:


  • Britni TheVadgeWig

    PhotobucketI'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
    Photobucket Photobucket
  • Because I Am a Shameless, Broke-Ass Bitch

    All donations are welcome, of course! You can always buy me something off my wishlist, as well.

  • Get Yourself Off

    Good Vibes PinkCherry Sex Toys Love yourself. Everyday. Tickle. Photobucket ER-150x250-1a_3 / JT's Stockroom
  • Photobucket
  • See My Writing At

    Photobucket Photobucket
  • Watch Them Get Off

    visit Photobucket visit
  • The What

  • The Who

  • Go Back In Time