On our first visit with each other, Master and I each arrived with suitcases full of toys. Mine was full of dildos and vibrators, butt plugs and nipple clamps. Master’s was full of the more kinky toys. Master brought the crops, the floggers, the pinwheels, the clothespins, and countless other implements of torture (though I did provide two methods of restraint and a gag). We had two lengthy, involved, and legitimate scenes in the two and a half days that I was with Him. This time, we both brought our suitcases full of fun, yet did not have any real “scenes,” even though I was with Him for four whole days. Master was disappointed and upset by this, yet I feel differently about it. I actually found it to be a good thing.
The first time we saw each other, we had sex without bondage and pain and kink, yet we also had two very long, intense, and draining scenes. The first involved a very intense face fucking, a doggy style spreader bar, a crop, chopsticks, a pinwheel, clothespins, vaginal fucking, and anal fucking. The second involved intense face fucking and water sports in the bathroom before moving to the bedroom where I was completely restrained to the bed, gagged, flogged, fucked with my Pure Wand until I had gushed buckets and buckets of fluid, and had my face straddled and Master’s balls forced into my mouth.
This time, there were none of the kinky toys used that Master had brought with Him. In fact, we never opened my case of toys, either. And it’s not that I don’t love BDSM play with Master. I absolutely love our scenes and feel deeply connected to Him after them. However, in our day-to-day life, having consistent and frequent scenes is unrealistic. The majority of our sex life will consist of Him and I having “vanilla” sex. And it’s important for us to know that we can enjoy sex without all the bells and whistles. And omigod, can we ever.
But even when we’re use any implements or tools that would be typically thought of as “kinky,” our sex is far from vanilla. In fact, I don’t think we *ever* have vanilla sex. We don’t even have vanilla sex with sprinkles. Our sex always has undertones of D/s, whether I’m restrained and beaten or not. I’m always collared. Master is almost always on top. Master controls when and how I orgasm. There is choking, slapping, spitting, face fucking, and name-calling. Master controls when and how the sex happens. So even though we aren’t having elaborate and planned out scenes, our sex still reflects and reinforces the relationship dynamics that we have and proves that it can work without the tangible evidence of it. And we did have a night in which I was draped over Master’s lap and spanked extensively, as well as Daddy/daughter role playing. Then there was the time I was trying to pee after sex and Master shoved his cock in my mouth and then began pissing in my mouth without warning while I was sucking his dick. Like I said, vanilla.
Master may be disappointed that the scenes that He had planned were not carried out, but I’m not disappointed at all. We have all the time in the world to do all of the scenes that He would like to do. I enjoyed our sex just as much, if not more, than when we had all the hoopla surrounding it. And on a regular basis, this trip is much more reflective of what our sex life will be like than the last trip was. This weekend was our version of vanilla. On top of all that, we had even more sex on this trip than we did on the last, as if that was possible. We can turn each other on just as much without the scenes as we can with them, and that is very, very important, and a very positive thing for our relationship.
Psh. Vanilla sex? Do you know what *we* do with vanilla sex? We make mince meat out of vanilla sex. We eat vanilla sex for breakfast. We fucking kill vanilla sex.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
9 Comments
hehehehe.
I'm right there with you. Your version of 'vanilla' sex and my version are mirror images of each other. I hope I never have true vanilla sex every again. ;D
Yeah, the downside of long-distance is that you're always trying to cram too much of everything in the weekend…You can discuss over the phone all the stuff you will do to each other but once together, it always comes together differently.
THe upside of long-distance being of course that you never stop having sex.
I would say Me & Jess have vanilla sex about 5% of the time. Ever since she introduced me to bondage and all her fun toys it's hard not to want to use them. I feel like I've become a bondage addict. Sex if good, but it just goes to a whole other level when we had some kink to it.
Kara XOXOXO
Well keep enjoying your "vanilla" sex
My comment was going to be similar to Sa's.
I'd like to add that when I saw the title I was very intrigued. Why? You ask. Because Britni and vanilla sex should never be in the same thought.
My problem with any D/s relationships that I've had in my life is that if I've ever fallen for my D (as it seems that you and your Master have) then something changes for me, and I can't get into the D/s stuff with him anymore. I think it has something to do with seeing someone's vulerability as an equal and no longer as a Dom Master or something. I've only been able to have "successful" and satisfying D/s relationships with people I don't get emotionally attached to. Long distance would help this, since you're not fucking all the time, so when you do, it's after a long build up and lots of fantasy talk. But do you wonder if you ever lived near each other and were in a "regular" relationship how that would affect your D/s dynamic in the long-run? Or maybe that's putting the horse way before the cart.
That picture is all kinds of awesome.
Vanilla sex has it's place. It just happens to not be in your bedroom.
peace…
i think it's nothing but good to be able to have "vanilla" sex and not always a scene together. It's important to Sylvanus and I to have a wide variety. Beyond that, as much as sylvanus loves being dominant, he also craves being desired. He willingly and affectionately accepts my moves to "jump his bones".
xo mina
Do you wonder if you ever lived near each other and were in a "regular" relationship how that would affect your D/s dynamic in the long-run?
I'm planning a post about this, but when the two of us are together for the weeeknds, there is a dynamic that is always present with us in subtle ways. We're much more like a "regular" couple than people probably think.
But for me, falling in love with Him has actually made it easier and more willing for me to submit. Because I love Him, I want to be the best sub for Him that I can, to meet all His needs, and to make Him happy.
I find it harder to submit to someone that I don't care about, especially outside of the bedroom, because I'm not as invested and doesn't hurt me as much if I disappoint them. With Master, I'm devastated when I do, and caring so much about Him plays a role in that.