The Whole Package

My Master’s post* outlining His favorite things about my subbiness or style of submission was a really informative and eye-opening look into the things that He looks for in a submissive, as well as the things about my submission that He finds so attractive and desirable. I figured I should write a comparable post from my side of the fence; the things that I like about Him as my Dominant, if you will.

There are many things that I like about this man, not just as my Dom, but also as my partner and as a person. If you were to strip our D/s dynamic away from us, I doubt that our feelings for one another would change. And that’s important to me. That I would want to be with this person regardless of whether He wants me to serve Him. Because ultimately, in a day-to-day situation and in day-to-day life, we have to still like each other. D/s play ebbs and flows and I need to want this man just as much during the ebbs as I do when the dynamic flows.
The Top Ten Things That I Love About My Dominant

  1. Our relationship needs are compatible. I’ve always said that my ideal partner would be my partner as well as my Dominant. While I’ve had D/s relationships with people that were strictly based on D/s play and that person was in no way my partner, I’d always found something to be missing in those. There was a piece of the puzzle missing, a disconnect between my Dom and myself. And while I’ve had vanilla relationships in which the person was my partner and not my Dominant, those too felt incomplete somehow. I wanted to give that person more of myself than was possible in that kind of relationship, and trying to explain that feeling to someone that doesn’t understand or desire D/s is virtually impossible. They look at you and think, “How much more can you possibly give me?”

    That isn’t the case with my Master. He understands how much more of oneself there is to give to another, and He wants all of it. He wants to know every part of me, to own every part of me, and to control every part of me. To make me fully His. And I want to give that to Him. Yet at the same time, He doesn’t want to strip me of who I am or for me to lose myself and my identity. Are there certain things that He’d ultimately like to modify about me to fit Him and His desires better? Of course. However, He wants me for who I am and not because He sees me as a weak person that He can mold into whatever He wants me to be.

  2. He respects me. In His post, He mentioned that I felt that we dropped in and out of the D/s dynamic, while He disagreed, feeling like we lived it 24/7. And He was correct; we do (which become much more evident if/when we are able to live in the same place). I think that the reason that I sometimes feel that we don’t, even when calling him Sir during a casual conversation about the mundane details of my day, is that He is the first Dominant I’ve had that seems to genuinely respect me and want to hear what I have to say. He respects my point of view, my opinion, my experience, and my voice.

    Just because I’m serving Him doesn’t make me less of a person and doesn’t make what I have to say any less important. I never feel anything less than 100% respected, even when He’s humiliating and degrading me. The feeling of being respected makes me want to give even more of myself to Him and to go to even further lengths and push boundaries I’d never even considered to please Him.

  3. He’s fucking hot. You guys haven’t gotten proof of this yet, but trust me. He’s got muscles and shit. And a REALLY nice cock. And, oh yeah, his face isn’t so bad, either. Neither are his piercing blue eyes.
  4. It’s not just about Him. He always says that a happy sub makes for a happy Dom. He’s not just concerned about using me to meet His own needs regardless of what makes me happy. Are there times when He wants to use me strictly for His own pleasure? Of course. That is, after all, what I’m there for. However, day in and day out is not just about Him. He checks in on me and wants to know how I’m doing. What do I want from Him? What do I need from Him? Even though my answer is always that I want to do whatever makes Him happy, because that is what makes me happy, He still cares enough to ask.
  5. He takes care of me. He is genuinely concerned about my well-being. I am virtually incapable of going to bed at a reasonable hour. He’s set me a bed time. I am entirely incapable of waking up in the mornings (I blame the hypothyroidism) and am perpetually late for work. He calls me to make sure I’m awake. I sometimes forget to eat because I’m so busy doing other things. He reminds me that I need to eat, and no, a piece of cheese doesn’t count. I am helpless in many ways when it comes to everyday tasks. He wants to help me with them, or do them for me. It’s evidence that I need Him, after all, and ultimately, that’s all he really wants. He needs me to need Him. And I do.
  6. He provides me with lots and lots and lots of attention. I am a needy little whore. I crave attention. I like attention. I need attention. And He gives it to me. I don’t have to sit and wait to hear from Him. If I want to contact Him, I can. I can text Him, email Him, call Him, whatever, whenever I want to. And it’s not only tolerated, but it’s welcomed. However, I never have to go looking for Him. He’s readily available and constantly checking in on me or sending me pictures or links or instructions. Even if I can’t respond at that moment, I like the reassurance that He’s there and that He’s thinking about me. I like that He checks up on me. I’m one of those people that, if left to my own devices, tends to stray. If I’m not constantly feeling wanted or needed, or if I feel like I have a chance to get away with something, I will. 
  7. He’s an open book. Just like He is interested in knowing everything he can about me, He allows me to know whatever I would like about Him. I can ask Him anything I want and He will answer. There are no secrets regarding where He goes, what He does, or what His life is like. If I want to know, all I have to do is ask. Nothing is more irritating than someone that doesn’t want to share details of themselves. It makes you feel like they’ve got something to hide, and they clearly don’t plan on making you a part of their life in any capacity if they can’t provide the simplest bits of information about themselves.
  8. He’s smart as hell. Not only is He whip smart, but He’s open-minded and an amazing conversationalist. We can talk for hours about theories and hypotheses and life and love and absolutely nothing at all. He shares a lot of my beliefs and views, which is always nice, too.
  9. He’s sure of Himself. While He likes me to compliment Him or reassure Him at times, it’s not anything more than the normal person likes to hear. He’s sure about who He is and what He wants. He knows what He likes and He knows what He expects from me. He knows what He’s doing and how to do it. Confidence is sexy and attractive as hell.
  10. He makes me feel like the luckiest slut in the world. And when it comes down to it, isn’t that all that really matters?
On the day that this post publishes, I will be traveling to spend the weekend with Him. Then I won’t just *feel* like the luckiest slut in the world. I’ll actually *be* the luckiest slut in the world.
*The title of that post was a reference to something that I said to Him once. I told Him that guys tended to view me as the kind of girl that you fuck and have fun with for a while, but not the kind of girl you could bring home to your mother. He disagreed.
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  1. 13messages
    Posted September 17, 2009 at 11:38 pm | Permalink

    I love that you are seeing him soon. I read everything you write.

  2. Ms Scarlett
    Posted September 18, 2009 at 12:01 am | Permalink

    I look forward to many more posts from both of you on this topic. This relationship, while quite different from anything I've experienced, is absolutely fascinating to me.

    Wonderful post! Have a lovely time!

  3. Topaz
    Posted September 18, 2009 at 1:37 am | Permalink

    As I'm reading I feel like he appeared out of the blue! But you guys have a great dynamic. I really think taking this idea and doing this exercise with H will be a very healthy thing.

    I hope you enjoy your weekend!

  4. Britni TheVadgeWig
    Posted September 18, 2009 at 1:57 am | Permalink

    Topaz, He partially did come out of nowhere! I wasn't looking for Him at all when He came into my life. However, I also resisted writing about Him for a while since I wasn't sure if it was going to fizzle out quickly or how it was going to work.

  5. Red
    Posted September 18, 2009 at 3:37 am | Permalink

    I *love* that He set you a bedtime. I think that's so cute! (and necessary) Maybe I need a Sir to send me to bed…with a spanking ;D…and by 'maybe' I mean 'definitely' ha!

    I love how this relationship is shaping up and can only hope to find myself something similar that fits my Switchy-ness one day.

    Have fun visting Him! (as if I even have to say it!!)

  6. xX...Amy...Xx
    Posted September 18, 2009 at 7:50 am | Permalink

    Have fun visiting Him! You guys seem perfect for each other, your relationship makes me smile :)


  7. Kara and Jessica
    Posted September 18, 2009 at 9:01 am | Permalink

    We're glad to see you have someone you can connect with on a personal, relationship & D/s level. We hope things continue to work out well for you. Kara & Jess XOXOXOXO

  8. DT and HBD
    Posted September 18, 2009 at 6:18 pm | Permalink

    WOW, I just stumbled across your blog while going through HNTs for this week, and I read your post the whole time chatting with my Dom, and going…omg thats us, everything you said here is true of me and DT.

    I just had to follow and let you know that you are truly one lucky slut to have a Dom like this. All Subs should be as lucky as we are.

    Thanks for the smile

  9. Aurore
    Posted September 19, 2009 at 12:14 am | Permalink

    Well it seems like you were made for each other (cheesy, I know). I hope you are having an amazing time together!

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