On my post about the dichotomy between my job and my personal life, I mentioned partaking in watersports with my Master. April left the following comment:
“I would like to add that I have never understood why anyone would want to be pissed on or want to piss on someone. I cannot see the eroticism in that one bit. I mean, I know people are into many different things, but this is one that I just don’t understand. It’s bodily waste! Nothing against you or your Master, I was just throwing in my opinion on the issue. I’ve tried to see why it would be hot, but I can’t”.
I think that a lot of people share this sentiment. In fact, I used to be one of those people that could not for the life of me understand why anyone would want to be pissed on. I’d like to share the reasons that I enjoy it, and then I’ll let Master tell you what it is that He enjoys about it. We haven’t discussed it, but I’m willing to bet that our reasons are very similar, just from opposite perspectives.
D/s is 95% mental. The dynamic itself isn’t so much about the pain and the physical aspects of it, at least for me. For me, it’s all about the mental aspect of control, and of giving control of myself completely to my Master. When you become someone’s property, they can do whatever they want to you. And degradation and humiliation is a big part of that. It’s not so much that they’re getting off on degrading and humiliating me as that they’re getting off on the fact that I’ve given myself so completely to them that I will allow them to degrade and humiliate me. Do I enjoy being humiliated and degraded? No. But I enjoy showing my Master how far I’m willing to go for Him and I know that He enjoys exerting His control over me. It reinforces the power dynamic between us. Yes, I can tell Him that He owns me and I am His to do whatever He wants with, but unless He actually pushes my boundaries and actively exerts His control over me, it’s all talk. Allowing Him to piss on me reinforces our power dynamic. I am His to do with as He pleases. If He wants to piss on me and use me as His urinal, He can. And He will.
There’s also an intensity in my relationship with my Master in which He strives to know me completely. My body is His, and He wants to know everything about my body. What I taste like, smell like, how the fluids and secretions that my body produces vary throughout the month. It’s His body and He wants to know it inside and out. Similarly, He wants me to know His. And so drinking His piss is one way of doing that. I’m also literally taking Him inside of me and making Him a part of me. I’m His, and so I’m not only willing, but honored, to accept His fluids and anything else that He wishes to share with me.
I don’t get off on the actual act of being pissed on. That isn’t what’s hot about it to me. It’s not about the physical act of being urinated on, but about the mental aspect of what it signifies in my relationship. It’s a physical way of reinforcing the power and control dynamic that my Master and I have established.
Profligacy: I really think Brit summed it rather well here. It IS a mental thing and the knowledge that someone is willing to do such things, to go to such extreme measures, and is so eager to please, is absolutely a huge turn on. Perhaps this speaks to the need for confirmation for Britni and me. I will leave the analysis to Brit the therapist.
I would like to speak to the comment about bodily waste. Neither of are into scat play nor blood. A little of each is bound to happen during certain activities but is not the focus of any humiliation I might give her. Considering we have shared most other bodily fluids, and the fact I have probably gone down on her right after relieving herself, I too have probably digested these fluids from her already. (More if I can ever get her over her stage fright). So to me pee is not really high on the gross scale.
I struggled a little today with how to explain humiliation. Britni did so eloquently, as usual, but I did want to add something and I thought was an analogy of a more vanilla situation, from a dominant female perspective. That would work nicely. I thought immediately of the act of buying tampons for a woman, though this has never phased me, some men have a real issue with it. However this did not answer the question of WHY.
So at the gym today I asked a few of my woman friends if they had ever done anything humiliating to a man that turned them on. Of course the first response I got was, “Why do you want to know that?” I am sure my friends are likely not in the lifestyle so I said I could not tell them. Suddenly a school teacher friend blurted, “Make him lick my panties!”. We got a big jolly out of that and a couple of us guys probably moved her up our MILF scale at that moment.
A more savvy friend pondered the question a bit and she said “Make him carry my purse.” She likes to have her husband hold, or guard her purse while she has to walk away, safe in the knowledge that she has marked him and that he is guarding, with his life, something he would rather not have his other he-man friends see him holding.
The panty order and the purse command both turned these women on. Not because seeing a man with panties on his head, or holding a purse turns them on, but because they could ask it, and their mates followed through.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
10 Comments
I really like reading your blog and getting an insight to your D/s world. I pretty much consider myself just a 'vanilla kink' kinda gal, so I don't think I'll be trying watersports anytime soon, but I'll admit that Alexa's post on face slapping has made me a little curious.
I understand the reasons behind watersports, as you've analyzed very well. My question is, however, where does it end? Where is the line? Profligacy has noted that "Neither of (us) are into scat play nor blood," I'm assuming because for both of you this would be going *too far.* Why? Because it is *disgusting* or more importantly, dangerous. Yes, you've already shared bodily fluids, so it isn't so much a question of STDs (as should be everyone's primary concern when playing with anyone). But obviously scat carries bacteria and other bad stuff that can make you really sick. So yeah, I *get* that.
But moreso to what Britni was saying, and getting to my point, where is the line? You want to give yourself to your Master completely and relinquish all control (I get that, believe you me), but what if your Master wants you to –fill in the blank– (shit, piss, bleed, spit, electric shock play, not eat for long periods of time, cut your hair, hot iron play, the list goes on and on). It's a slippery slope.
I suppose I can answer my own question by saying that, as you have said, it all comes down to concent. Whatever happens between concenting adults is up to them, as long as they are not hurting others. The line may be blurred, however, when so much power is put into the hands of a Master to make decisions for you, as his sub. I am not necessarily specifically speaking of both of you, as you both may have a mutually consentual, respectful relationship (huzzah!), but many people who get into these relationships do so for the wrong reasons. It is a delicate game that not everyone is equiped to play, and that is where I would be concerned. Lines must be clearly drawn, glowing in the fucking dark.
And PS, if you two ever want to come to Chicago for a mini-vacay, I'd love to, ahem, host you.
*consent.
Jillinois,
But moreso to what Britni was saying, and getting to my point, where is the line? You want to give yourself to your Master completely and relinquish all control (I get that, believe you me), but what if your Master wants you to –fill in the blank– (shit, piss, bleed, spit, electric shock play, not eat for long periods of time, cut your hair, hot iron play, the list goes on and on). It's a slippery slope.
I agree that there's a fine line and sometimes you want to keep pushing and going further. We have hard limits that have been discussed, and if those ever change, obviously we will talk about them again. But for now, we have our hard limits and that's where the line is. Also, yes, I want to give as much of myself to my Master as possible, but I also trust Him implicitly. The bottom line is that while He wants to push my boundaries and have control over me, He loves me and doesn't want to hurt me. He doesn't ACTUALLY want to hurt me and He doesn't want to push me to a point that would be traumatic or really really unpleasant for me (at least I hope!). I trust that He won't do anything that would really and truly put me in danger. Which is why I refuse to play in this lifestyle with people that I don't trust.
…many people who get into these relationships do so for the wrong reasons. It is a delicate game that not everyone is equipped to play
I agree with you wholeheartedly on this. There are a lot of really dangerous and unhealthy D/s relationships out there, and a lot of unhealthy people seeking things through this lifestyle.
And, uh, I'd *love* to come see you in Chitown
You probably already know my feelings on watersports from reading my blog. I think both you and your Master perfectly explained the appeal of urine and bodily functions in general as they relate to D/s relationships.
Btw, scat is a deal breaker for me. lol
I really do understand the giving yourself to each other fully aspect of it. I even understand doing certain things to be humiliated. (Like being made to do sexual things in public and eating with your hands. Those would probably turn me on.) But, in my opinion, urinating on someone and drinking piss is right up there with scat.
Licking a pussy after a woman has pissed is not the same as having a man directly piss into your mouth and drinking it. I have sucked a dick right after the guy peed and I'm certain that I've unintentionally ingested a tad bit of urine. But that's nowhere near comparable to intentionally letting a man use my mouth as a urinal.
And although your (Master) analogies showed why people had their SO's do things they wouldn't normally do, this still does not explain why anyone would want piss on someone or be pissed on. The control/submitting completely answer just doesn't do it for me. I believe there are many, many other things that a person can do to be humiliated which don't involve bodily waste. I believe that you can completely know someone inside and out without ever having to taste a drop of their piss.
I think both of you have answered this question very well, but have not changed my mind on how I feel about it. I guess if I'm ever in a D/s relationship, that's where my line would be drawn. I'm open-minded, but not THAT open-minded.
And please know that I'm certainly not judging you. Pee on each other and drink each others piss all you want. As long as you're happy, I'm happy.
Thank you both for a very well thought out post! =)
I for one, know and live the fact that D/s is 95% mental and I love that about it. I love a good mind fuck more than anything else. If Sylvanus wanted to piss on me, or forced me to piss on myself, it would turn me on. Only because mentally he made me do it. There is still a limit on what I am willing to have on me. I can handle piss.. tho perhaps ingesting it may be difficult. Scat is a big no no for the both of us. We have no desire to poop on or in front of each other.
xo mina
with one of my ex lover's we got to try and play it. To me it can be erotic to a point.He loved it, meh not so much.Because i see like being tied up with silk scarves or ropes or such more erotic to me then water sports.
But I talked it over with my current boyfriend and hes a bit shy still over it, so maybe one day with him. Just now getting him used to try to be a bit more dominate in the bedroom rather then me all the time:)
I understand what you're saying, but if something is on the table to begin with, how is it pushing the limits? Isn't pushing the limits ordering you to do something that you don't want to do? I have to agree, it is a slippery slope.
My playmate, who I (As you know) have some issues with right now, asked me for this last week when he was feeling subby. He's a switch and as I have been wanting to try BDSM, I've been switching with him. It is weird because I have been feeling like he hasn't been respecting my boundaries, whereas every time we play, he has been wanting me to push his boundaries more and more. We went into this with some hard lines drawn, and one of them was no bodily fluids – no blood, no pee, no scat. Last week, he really wanted me to humiliate him and he asked for me to pee on him, spit on him, and to be more verbally degrading than he had previously wanted. He hadn't done this before and I enjoyed the trust aspect of it, that he had this need, that he had never been comfortable trying it before, and he wanted it from ME.
It was very intimate…I had to force myself to do it, but he needed the humiliation aspect of it so badly, it felt right to give that to him. He wanted more, and he wanted it the next day. It was a very intense experience for him. Giving him that intense experience opened up tender feelings in me that I don't normally access. I think that has made our playmate relationship very, very confusing for me emotionally. I wouldn't bring up watersports with a partner, but if they want me to do it, and if it brings them this kind of boundary pushing release that he ended up getting, I don't have a problem doing it. If my partner needs to pee on ME? maybe in the shower with the water running he can pee on my foot. Otherwise, I don't think I can do it, and it's not something I personally get off on either way.