Earlier today, my father was making rape jokes to my brother. Even before I was raped, I didn’t find these kinds of jokes funny. They make light of a very, very unfunny situation. Rape is no joke. It’s traumatic and frightening and devastating. Women are already marginalized in this society. As women, we already have virtually no power. Being raped not only reinforces that power imbalance, it strips what little power a woman does have away from her. And it has a lasting effect on it’s victims.
I’m still sensitive to hearing stories of rape sometimes. Sometimes I can handle it without incident; other times I break down. Tonight, I was in the kitchen making popcorn and I could hear my father watching a documentary/news type show and the woman being interviewed was relating a story of being drugged, restrained, and raped by multiple men over multiple days. My father, who has a habit of talking to the TV, was saying, “Unbelievable. Poor woman. How could anyone ever do that to someone?” You could hear the empathy, sympathy, and disbelief in his voice. I was crying quietly in the kitchen.
I wanted to yell. “THIS IS WHY RAPE JOKES AREN’T FUCKING FUNNY. RAPE ISN’T FUCKING FUNNY. DOES THIS SOUND LIKE A JOKE TO YOU? BECAUSE IT MOST CERTAINLY ISN’T A FUCKING JOKE, WHICH IS WHY NO ONE SHOULD EVER MAKE LIGHT OF RAPE AGAIN.”
But I didn’t. Because he still wouldn’t get it. *He* didn’t rape anyone. *The joke* didn’t hurt anyone. I should stop taking things so seriously. And telling my dad that *I* was raped? Is something I will never do. I don’t think he could handle knowing that, and some things really are better left unsaid. It would break his heart.
(And if anyone cites George Carlin’s “Rape is Funny” monologue, you still won’t sway me, so don’t even bother trying.)
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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2 Comments
A valid point.
I can see your not wanting to upset him, but I think your dad might be more upset if he ever found out you hid something from him that has affected you so deeply.
And no, rape is not funny. Not even a little bit.