Lindsay Lohan Is Awesomely Bad

Jezebel posted Lindsay Lohan’s new commercial for Fornarina the other day, and I am obsessed with it. I have no idea what is actually going on, nor does the commercial tell me what Fornarina actually is (upon a Google search, it appears to be some kind of clothing store that is popular in Japan and parts of Europe?). Her delivery sucks, it looks like a bad ’80s movie, and I can’t stop saying “Pornarina. Fornicate? Vagina” in my head. The words that she so flatly delivers do not relate in the least to the activities she is doing. They also do not relate to clothing at all. I mean, “Glam. Pink. Heart. Fornarina”? Really? Who wrote this commercial? They should be fired. I do love the fact that they have to flash her name at the bottom of the screen, as if she’s not recognizable enough.

It’s so bad, it’s awesome.

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  1. Apollo Unchained
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 10:19 am | Permalink

    You're right I love it. I may have to forward it to all my family …

    To me "Fornarina" just makes me think of "Fornication Arena".

    And I say, "Go Lindsay!" It's not her fault they gave her this stupid script and no direction. And she needs the work.

  2. Nolens Volens
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 11:24 am | Permalink

    I agree with you! LOL

  3. Suzanne
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 12:05 pm | Permalink

    I've been reading "Fornarina" as "For Narnia" since I first saw this. It makes it much less porny and more like she just really really liked C.S. Lewis.

  4. Ms. Inconspicuous
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 12:40 pm | Permalink

    Suzanne–Me too! And then I picture that little actor rushing forward… "For Narnia!"

    I think she looks super-cute here, bad commercial aside.

  5. The Promo Homo
    Posted March 26, 2009 at 2:05 pm | Permalink

    Honestly, she doesn't look like herself at all. So that is probably why. I recognize her voice, but she has gotten soooo thin that I was like "wtf is that lezlo? in a blonde wig". Yikes.

    I just wanna know what's up with the pink triangles in the beginning. Kinda gay. Kiiiinda gay.

    And does no one else hear "gonorrhea" instead of "fornarina"? It's ALL I HEAR.

  6. Penny
    Posted March 27, 2009 at 10:36 pm | Permalink

    Italian company, I've owned some of their shoes. The commercial definitely reads Japan, though…

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