This post will only be relevant to a select few readers. For those of you who have been with me long enough to remember CB, he just called me. I haven’t talked to him in about a year. Turns out he is going to be down here next week and wanted to know if I would be interested in getting a drink. Of course I would. He thought I would never want to speak to him again. A lot of time has passed, I am over things, of course I would love to see him.

And then it happened. He apologized. He said, “I’m sorry for what I did to you. I was a terrible person, and I regret it every day of my life.” I poked a little, and basically said, “You know, I don’t hate you. But you had two girlfriends for a very long time, and that’s the part that hurt the most. You ended up with her when we broke up, didn’t you?” HE ADMITTED THAT HE CHEATED. For the first time ever, he acknowledged it. He told me that yes, he did end up with her for a good length of time. That jumping right into that relationship insulated him from the heartbreak of the ending of ours for a while. But the big thing for me was that this is the first time he ever admitted to dating both of us simultaneously. The first time he ever acknowledged that yes, he cheated on me.
And the thing is, I never realized how much anger and hurt I still carried from it until he said that. I broke down. I sobbed. I never realized how much I was still holding with me, how angry I still was about that relationship until he finally said it. Admitted it. And apologized. It’s weird. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I am happy. I am relieved. It’s weird, you know? I accused him of so long of something that he made me feel CRAZY for suspecting. To hear it confirmed and out in the open is a really refreshing thing. And for the moment, I am at peace.
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  1. April
    Posted November 7, 2008 at 9:58 am | Permalink

    I am so happy for you!!

    I had accused my ex-husband of cheating on me several times. There were things he did that just made me feel like he cheated. Of course he denied it up and down. Until one day I got a phone call from an angry husband. Why was he angry? Because my husband fucked his wife in the parking lot of a hotel while his friend and her friend were actually fucking in a hotel room. The worst part about that call was that I got it a year and 2 months AFTER it actually happened. When the guy was telling me, I knew exactly which night he was talking about because my husband didn't come home until 7 in the morning.

    Anyway, after we split up I asked him to be honest with me about everything and I would be honest with him because at that point it was definitely over, but having that piece of mind would've been very relieving. He told me about 2 other girls (in addition to the one that I already knew about) that he had slept with. One girl just one time and the other girl two times. Then I told him about what I had done. I think that we both felt better for knowing everything and getting it all out. Well at least I felt better knowing that I wasn't the crazy jealous wife always accusing her husband of cheating when he wasn't.

    So yeah, I know how you feel and I'm glad that you feel better.

  2. hamachi15
    Posted November 7, 2008 at 12:28 pm | Permalink

    Good for you. As sucky as the truth may be at times. It's always good to know.

  3. KBear
    Posted November 7, 2008 at 3:05 pm | Permalink

    I'm glad you got the closure you needed. Sometimes, we don't even realize how badly we crave it until we get it. Which most times, we don't.

    Let it all out, so you can finally let go. All of it. You'll be happy how much weight will really lift after you let yourself absorb, and then let it go.

  4. fyrchk
    Posted November 7, 2008 at 8:06 pm | Permalink

    Oh Brit!!! I am so happy that he finally admitted it. I know that it's going a LONG way to making you feel at peace.

    I know that when I got Fireman Matt to admit he cheated that even though it hurt, it soothed me to know that I wasn't crazy and just paranoid.

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