Life on Pause

My brother is a very lucky guy. He has benefitted immensely from Bartender’s incarceration and subsequent house arrest. In the last 3 or 4 months, my brother has received:

  • Floor seats to a Miami Heat game
  • Tickets to a Red Sox/Marlins spring training game
  • Tickets to the Marlins’ Opening Day
  • Tickets to see the Cubs play in Chicago at Wrigley Field
  • Also, my gay boy got theatre tickets to see Wicked
But these are just the tangible things that Bartender has missed out on. This doesn’t include the family events, the ability to take me out on a date, not being able to take me to the airport when I travel, the ability to come over to my house or sleep in my bed, and countless other daily activities that we otherwise take for granted.
He has never met any of my family besides my parents and brother. He is consistently invited to family events, and he would love to attend. Initially, the excuses were to avoid letting anyone know he was in jail; now they are to avoid letting anyone know that he is unable to leave his house. When some of these events have been planned for months and others he had already RSVP’d to (and some he already had a plane ticket to Chicago for), it makes it look like he doesn’t care about making the effort to meet my family. I’m sure my grandparents are beginning to wonder why he hasn’t made the 30 minute drive to their house with me yet.
I’m not getting antsy or having trouble handling his house arrest. I’m frustrated that he has to miss out on every other aspect of my life for an entire year. I see him enough, so its not that I miss him. I miss having a life with him. Because right now, we have us and I have my life. Unfortunately, the two are separate entities at the moment and will be for a while.
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