American Idol is Still Probs Gay

American Idol just keeps getting more and more queer. The entire first half of this night was gay. The first 4 (of men were gay gay gay.

1. Luke Menard sings “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” by Wham. This requires no further comment.

2. David Archuleta is still gay and doesn’t know it, especially when he goes all Elton John and sits at the piano.

3. Danny Noriega, my little pocket gay, sang “Tainted Love” (though poorly). Simon totally thought it was vulgar. You could tell by his face.

4. And finally, David Hernandez, the former male gymnast and gay stripper, sang the classic Celine Dion ballad “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now” (which by the way, has the most epic video of all time). And I don’t care that it was probably (definitely was) a cover because the theme was the 1980s and Celine recorded this in the late 90s. She still recorded it.

For real, people? Gay.