eHarmony is based upon a complex matching system developed through extensive research with married couples. One of the requirements for successful matching is that participants fall within certain defined profiles. If we find that we will not be able to match a user using these profiles, we feel it is only fair to inform them early in the process.
We are so convinced of the importance of creating compatible matches to help people establish happy, lasting relationships that we sometimes choose not to provide service rather than risk an uncertain match.
Unfortunately, we are not able to make our profiles work for you. Our matching model could not accurately predict with whom you would be best matched. This occurs for about 20% of potential users, so 1 in 5 people simply will not benefit from our service. We hope that you understand, and we regret our inability to provide service for you at this time.
- OkCupid. This site is free. It also lets you be bisexual. Two huge pros. However, it also has some of the dumbest, perviest, creepiest people I have ever come across. Still, considering the fact that it is free, I could always throw a profile up there just for the hell of it.
- Salon Personals. This seems like a good option. It also appears to be free, and people aren’t as uptight and prude as (I’m told) they are on eHarmony.
- JDate. My family is Jewish. I have a Hebrew tattoo. I also don’t give two shits about religion, consider myself an atheist, and have never even kissed a Jewish man. But it would make my mom happy. And I could play into stereotypes and pretend I will meet a rich Jewish doctor on there.
- Chemistry.com. The place for eHarmony rejects, according to their commercials. I am an eHarmony reject. Does this mean that this is my next stop? The all-accepting Chemistry.com?
- And, of course, I could reactivate my Match account.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
Good Vibes 
14 Comments
You "undatable"? Highly doubtful…
Or just call eHarmony and tell them to create a profile that is tailored for a bi-sexual person. When they refuse, see if you can convince they to refund the money doubled back to you…
I've been rejected from eHarmony too. Don't fret.
I've found several good friends on OkCupid, but there's a lot of trash, there as well, according to many female friends.
Of course, this is all from a male perspective, so I can't say for certain.
he he i filled in a questionnaire like the eharmony thing once, to see who they'd try to match me with.
i didn't get any matches. i had to go over all my answers and make them more "normal" before i got any matches at all. i'd rather have a unique personality than loads of matches on eharmony..
eharmony doesn't really sound very harmonic to me; with the exclusion of gay people. maybe they should get a new name for themselves.
I did match, and it was full of serious weirdos for years, but then I met my ex on okcupid and we dated for two years. It's like a box of chocolates, Brit … there's a bunch of gross ones in there, but you can probably find one or two reasonably tasty candies.
I'm dumb today:)
I have a good friend and an ex who've both met nice people on OkCupid, of course they were both looking for other girls, so I don't know how that shifts the ratio of weirdos vs. non-weirdos. That said, I've heard many times, and not just from you, that eHarmony is restrictive, prudish and conservative in its dating criteria, so I think you should actually take it as a complement that they rejected you!
As for my two cents, I say try both of the free sites for a month or so and then, if those don't work, go for chemistry.com and/or match.com.
I've always liked okcupid and plentyoffish. Both are free, and you can find some good people mixed in with the wierdos (like the girl who wanted to give me herpes on our first date!)
My experiences with online dating haven't been terrific. I got a guy who emailed me on my birthday to let me know he had decided to make it serious with one of the other women he'd been dating and a sex offender. So the whole "why don't you try online dating" thing makes me stick my fingers in my ears and scream "lalala, can't hear you!" Then again, I kinda suck at dating anyway, so who's to say that it won't work for you?
I got that rejection form letter from eHarmony, too. I consider it a compliment that there's no one there that fits me, as those people are kind of, uh…stuffy. We'll go with stuffy.
I have a profile on OKCupid, and it's alright. I dunno. If you find something decent, send a link my way!
Fuck eHarmony they suck ass goddamn bible beaters!!!
Yeah, even if I was straight I'd boycott eHarmony. I wouldn't want my money going to a homophobic company.
I don't know much about the dating site thing – as my people just appeared.
However, a lot of poly-type folk seem to like OKCupid, and have found friends/lovers with that site. *shrug* Can't hurt, right?
peace…
plentyoffish.com is free too, as someone above mentioned. My co-worker really likes that site. I met my man on Craigslist of all places. I consider myself lucky though, and not the norm.
I was rejected as well. I don't have a problem with eHarmony not catering to the gay community. There are plenty of "gay only" dating and hook-up sites. Hell, there's even a dating site for geeks. lol Or should we make all dating sites all-inclusive?
Also, I heard somewhere that they're creating, or have created, a special service via eHarmony for gays.