Meet The Daughter

Bartender has a 13-year-old daughter that lives with him and that he has full custody of. I finally got to meet her the other day when Bartender was working and was unable to go pick her up and bring her home. He asked me if I would be willing to do so, and of course, I agreed. I mean, how bad could it be, right?

Well, let me tell you, I got my shit handed to me by a 13-year-old. It was awesome. By the time she got out of the car, I had no idea what had just happened. Some highlights of our conversation include:

• “Are you the girl that ExGF kicked out and threw the metal duck at*? (Yeah, that was me). I mean, because she totally had a point, seeing as she lives there and everything.”
• “I hate my brown hair and chubby cheeks. I got those from my dad. My nails suck, also. That must mean I got those from my dad, too. Pretty much everything that sucks about me, I got from my dad.”
• “By the way? Are you in high school? (No, I’m 23). Good, because I thought my dad was hanging out with, like, a 17-year-old and I was gonna be like, ‘I so do NOT approve of this’.”
• “My dad told me that his friend Britni was gonna come pick me up and I was like, ‘Ugh, another one?’ But you’re, like, really cool and our conversation was awesome. Plus, your outfit’s really cute. Ok, bye! Thanks for the ride!”

I think it went well, no?

*I haven’t had the energy to write a post on this. The short of it is that Bartender’s ex-girlfriend still lives on the couch, as she is on the lease to their apartment. The girl is crazy. And a severe alcoholic. She was supposed to be sleeping at her boyfriend’s and came home wasted one night to find me and Bartender watching a movie in the living room. Bitch freaked the fuck out, tried to fight me (and the girl is like 5’10, 160), threw a decorative metal duck at my head as I walked down the stairs, and pulled a knife on Bartender after I left. I haven’t been back since. Their lease is up in February, thank god.