A few years ago, I went to the gynecologist at my college’s health center. I had never been to see her before. When it came time for my pap smear, she began to talk to my cervix.
“Aw, the little guy’s being shy! He won’t look at me! Look at me, little cervix!”
I was horribly creeped out. I mean, it was bad enough that she spoke to my cervix like it was an actual person, but then she had to make it MALE? Oh, no she di’int!
Needless to say, that was my first and last visit to her office.
I'm Britni, a snarky bitch and generally awesome person. I write about sex, love, and bullshit. If sex-positivity, discussions about BDSM and kink, queer issues, and topics that are completely inappropriate by society's standards make you uncomfortable, then this blog is not for you.
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OMG, even I think that’s creepy.
… Was she French?
In French, all nouns are gendered, and the expression for cervix, “col de l’uterus” — uterine collar, is masculine, because a collar is masculine. Which I guess is a whole other flavour of loaded. German has a masculine, a feminine, and a neutral, and in the little bit I learned in university, there’s not a lot of obvious rhyme or reason to what sorts of nouns get what gender — some things in French that are feminine are masculine in German and vice-versa.
My point being, it could be a linguistic hiccup. Although the puppy talk would weird me out. I’ve always been a bit off-put whenever a lover would refer to my genitalia as “It” — as though it was being separated some how from “Me.”
Yes, in portuguese the word ‘cervix’ is also masculine. But what the hell, that puppy talk is REALLY weird and creepy to say the least! I’d never come back there!
If you need a gyno around here, let me know. I really like mine; she’s nice and relatively young.
That? Is weird. Mine was pretty awesome. “When I went in for my first pelvic exam, it was with my mom’s doctor, and he was eighty, and I felt so uncomfortable”. Plus, there were pictures of rainbows on the ceiling. Planned Parenthood ROCKS.
Holy crap… that’s really creepy, and seems really unprofessional too. My cervix will not “look” at you because IT HAS NO EYES.
Even if she’d referred to it as female it’d still be amazingly creepy.
… so creepy. having a strange person open me up with a speculum is awkward and uncomfortable enough, having them childishly talk to my CERVIX would make things so much worse.